Jello Biafra and the Melvins are about as relevant today as is the hot new joint from Iron Maiden. Former Dead Kennedy's frontman Biafra's rockumentary informs that he was born six blocks from the Jon Benet Ramsey murder site. With an environment so charged with karma, was Biafra blessed with an intrinsic artistic sense?
Not necessarily.
Jello Biafra and the Melvins' "Never Breathe What You Can't See" takes two artists whose appeal should have been left in the '80s with the Tylenol scare, and jams them into a 21st century setting. They even go as far as to change their names in their liner notes to vocalist Osama Mcdonald, guitarist Jon Benet Milosevic, bassist George W. Mcveigh, and drummer Saddam Disney. It just goes to show that artists can get by on their previous work.
Perhaps the best song is "Yuppie Cadillac," in which Biafra exclaims: "Up and over I go/ My terminator crushing cars below/ I'm late for a meeting more important than yours/ My Krispy Kremes are getting cold."
Biafra's biblically profound lyrics don't stop there. The album ranges in topic from foreign policy mockery to kiddy porn and fondling friends' mothers' panties. It's a mix between punk rock and heavy metal; the outcome falls short of both.
The album is an atrocity to the very idea of music being an art form. With Biafra's and the Melvins' guitarist King Buzzo's talent pool, the possibilities were endless. Instead, they've desecrated any chance of becoming overly successful before they're forced to call the project a failure and go back to selling quilts in front of the Student Union.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
