The Road Never Traveled

When Kimberly Ronan, Jacquia Fenderson and Annette Burden don their caps and gowns for graduation, they will not only be marking a milestone in their own lives, they will be claiming a victory for the generations of family that lived before them.

For first generation college students like them, college after high school was not exactly a given.

"It's hard because, when you're the first one to go to college, you don't have that personal model," she said. "There's nothing to look to and say, 'it can be done.'"

College has been attempted in Fenderson's family, but she will be the first to secure a bachelor's degree.

Her father, then a taxi driver, managed four semesters at SUNY Binghamton before having to drop out when Jacquia and her twin sister, Tamiqua were born.

"My father is so smart, he could have done it, but he did what he had to do to support his kids," she said. "He still talks about going back, but he's 40-something now, and it's a lot harder."

Fenderson spent her free time during high school working at Friendly's.

"I was so bored. I realized that I didn't want to be working useless jobs like that for the rest of my life," she said.

Seeing what little a life without a degree had to offer, Fenderson began applying to universities. With her good grades, she was accepted to many of them. Living in a cramped walk-up apartment in the Bronx with her mother and two sisters, Fenderson opted to go away to school, choosing UB as the place to spread her wings.

Once here, she found herself in a gross anatomy class.

"I was like, I can really do this," she said.

That led to her taking the MCATs. Those scores, along with her 3.85 average have landed her acceptance at the schools of medicine at UB and the University of Rochester.

She attributes much of her success to hard work and to the support she receives from her family.

"My family is not even surprised; they just expect it from me," she said. "My parents are like my cheerleaders. Everyone who knows my dad knows about me. One time, he was at Applebee's bragging to the waitress, and he called me up and put me on the phone with her."

Her father, Wardel Fenderson, says that he cannot brag enough.

"Words cannot encompass the joy that I feel about what Jacquia has shown in the face of adversity," he said. "She is a minority student from the inner city, and she has risen above her surroundings to be not just an average student but an excellent student. She will graduate summa cum laude with honors. I tell everyone I meet that I am going to have a doctor in the family; Jacquia Fenderson, MD."

Fenderson says along with the support from her family comes pressure to succeed.

"Everyone is counting on me to do well. All of my cousins and everybody are looking up to me," she said.

Even so, she says there is another reason she will not give up.

"I want to do this for myself," she said. "Education is my only way out."

Senior photography major Kimberly Ronan can identify with the pressure Fenderson feels.

"I'm also the first grandchild in my family to go to college, so I have to live up to that, too," she said.

Her brother Nick, 20, has opted to work in a restaurant rather than go to college for the time being.

Junior psychology major and first generation college student Annette Burden said she is under pressure to succeed, but that pressure does not necessarily come from her family. She says their support has been hard to come by.

Her parents believe that hard work, not college, is the key to success.

"My father had an eighth grade education and worked on a farm in Alabama. My parents have a house in the suburbs, a boat, two cars and they did it without going to school."

Because of this, Burden's parents never pushed her to pursue higher education.

"They say, 'work really hard at a factory, be a bus driver, a nurse, try to become a retail store manager,'" she said. "I understand why they feel that way, but I obviously don't agree."

Burden had the opportunity to visit Harvard with the McNair Scholars program - a program specifically designed to prepare first generation college students for doctoral work.

"I called my sister while I was there to say 'Hi.' When she hung up and told my parents where I was, my dad said, 'Oh, she's not going to be uppity, now, is she?'"

She said the challenges of being a first generation student can crop up in many unexpected ways.

"My parents don't understand how the system works. In high school, they wouldn't sign my financial aid papers, because they thought it meant money out of their pockets," Burden said.

Fundamental things like financial aid forms proved to be an obstacle for Ronan, as well.

"I had no idea what I was doing with them. Most of the help I got came from the financial aid office," she said.

Her father, Todd, a factory worker, and mother, Christine, an employee of a construction company, had no experience with such things to be able to offer help.

"It was really hard, really draining because I didn't know what I was doing," Ronan said. "But it makes me feel proud of myself because I did it all on my own."

Burden believes the more she accomplishes, the more her family will learn.

"I was the first child to get my associate's (degree), I will be the first to get my bachelor's and Ph.D. Once they see me do these things, they'll see the benefits I get. They'll finally understand once I am a professional in the world."

According to Burden, the farther along she gets in her studies, the more her family begins to appreciate it.

"They don't give me a problem now because I'm doing it without them. I mean, they like to brag that I'm doing good and they say they're proud, they just don't realize the magnitude of what I'm doing."

And for Burden, that's okay. There is something else that drives her toward her goals.

"Being first generation, I am conscious that everything I do will benefit my kids and be passed down. I want to give my kids a better life," she said. "When I have kids, I'm going to sit them down and say, 'Before I even knew you I was thinking of you. I've been preparing this life for you since before you were born.'"