Heil Peace!

For those of you who don't know by now, Adolf Hitler has been nominated for the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize. No joke. I kid you not. Google it if you don't believe me.

Now, I know what you're thinking. How did a man who murdered millions, tried to take over the world, and remains today the poster boy for evil, get nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, especially when only past winners, professors, and national assembly members can nominate? I have no idea. But come on.

Where's your sense of forgiveness? Sure, Hitler made a few mistakes in his life, a few poor choices, but hey, don't we all?

Of course, I don't think the Hitler of the '30s and '40s should win any award, let alone one for peace. But I'm talking about the Hitler of 2004: an actor, comedian and an all-around laughable dude.

Do you realize how many Hitler jokes there are, how many television shows he's been on, how many stand-up routines he's been in recently? From "The Family Guy" to "The Simpsons" to "Saturday Night Live," ever since his 1945 suicide, Hitler has brought families together in laughter and happiness like no other individual. He's brought smiles and grins to men, women and children across the globe. Hitler put the fun back in funny.

Perhaps Hitler's greatest comedic triumph, however, is "The Producers," in which he teamed up with comic legend Mel Brooks to make one of the funniest movies (and eventually, Broadway shows) of all time. Recently, this hysterical musical alone, with its ever-catchy song "Springtime for Hitler," is responsible for New Yorkers being 15 percent less likely to give you the finger, and for 37 percent more tourists leaving Manhattan with smiles, rather than that warm I've-been-spit-on feeling. And had Hitler personally been at the 2001 Tony Awards, he would have heard Mel Brooks (a Jew) thank him (a Nazi) for "being such a funny guy on stage."

Riotous laughter, fewer middle fingers, peaceful Jewish-Nazi relations - just look at what Hitler did for New York City alone.

Laughter, they say, is the best medicine. It makes the world a better and safer place in which to live. After all, people can't fight each other if they're laughing together. And isn't that what the Nobel Peace Prize is all about? If the Hitler of 1938 could be nominated, which he was, how can you not nominate the Hitler of 2004 who has brought joy and peace to so many?

Still not sold on this generation's favorite Nazi dictator for the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize? Look at some of the other candidates and tell me if they've done as much for world peace as Hitler has through laughter:

George W. Bush and Tony Blair, for removing Saddam Hussein from power. They invaded a country and started a war. It's big, but is it funny? No.

Slobodan Milosevic, for only God knows what. Still on trial for genocide, maybe death will be as positive a career move for him as it was for Hitler.

The European Union, for expanding to include Eastern European countries. But how much of a stretch is it to include European countries in a European Union? It's like getting a medal for letting your cousins in the family photo.

The Salvation Army. When I think of this group, I think of Santa Claus, which makes me think of Billy Bob Thornton in "Bad Santa," which makes me laugh. But he's no Hitler.

Pope John Paul II. I hear he's making his Broadway debut this spring as Max Bialystock in "The Producers," but even then, His Pope-ness still has a lot of catching up to do.

Of course, these are only some of the big names up for the award. Many of the nominees we've never heard of before, like 2003 winner Shirin Ebadi and 2002 winner Jimmy Carter.

In 1945, when Hitler should have won the Peace Prize for killing himself, another no-name won it: Cordell Hull, for playing a key role in the creation of the United Nations. And now look: the UN is a conflicted organization full of world leaders yelling at each other, and Hitler is an excuse for families to gather round the television and enjoy a good, hearty laugh together.

See what can happen when you forgive a man and give him a second chance. You never know.