A collective tear rolled down our nation's eye on Wednesday night as word traveled on the imminent trade of the Portland Trailblazer's star-crossed Rasheed Wallace to the Atlanta Hawks.
As Jurmaine Dupri and Ludacris warm up their next version of "Welcome to Atlanta" featuring 'Sheed, we at the sports desk are in mourning over the end of a true Golden Age.
Wallace's trademark post-technical foul facial expressions were the face of the Blazers franchise since the late-'90s, and now that face has gone over an extreme makeover.
So, in honor of this disheartening end, we bring you the finest Portland Trailblazer moments of the Jailblazer era.
But first, cue up Natalie Merchant and the 10,000 Maniacs.
These are the days you might fill with laughter until you
break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to
be.
5) Damon's Airport Adventure
JN: Stoudamire's last foray into felonies could have been the most comical of all. After getting busted for having a large "bag of marijuana" in his home and being brought in for possession along with fellow bad boy 'Sheed, the brainiac placed his rolling papers and "grass," which were wrapped in tin foil, in the security bin that is passed through the X-Ray machine..
4) A New 'High' For Rasheed
JN: In the 2000-01 season, not only did 'Sheed hurt those who owned him in fantasy leagues, he improved his NBA record for technicals to 41. The outspoken Wallace admits to some of his T's but blames the referees for the majority of them. Apparently they had nothing to do with his penchant for berating the refs with obscenities and/or throwing blunt objects at people.
3) Sucker Punch Out
JN: Ruben Patterson, who can't fight back because he is on probation, gets held down while Zach Randolph and Qyntel Woods beat the heck out of them. This results in Patterson's eye socket being broken; Randolph and Patterson were suspended and fined more that $100,000 between the two of them. Talk about unsavory characters.
2) "Watch This"
JB: During the Blazers' hey day as the bad boys of the league, there were no two Portlanders as chummy, and insane, as 'Sheed and his best friend till the end, Bonzi Wells.
Naturally, on Wells' final day of practice with the Blazers before being shipped to Memphis, the two had to have one last tag team moment.
So, according to The Oregonian, Wallace hit Wells on the back and said "watch this." 'Sheed then proceeded to launch a ball at teammate Ruben Boumtje Boumtje who was 100 feet away shooting free throws, knocking him viciously to the ground. Boumtje Boumtje was in agony, and Wells and Wallace got their one last jolly together.
1) The Wink Heard Round the World
JB: I can't write a better script than this. We leave you with, in our opinion, the greatest moment in Jailblazers history, a transcript between good ol' Bonzi and a few reporters at Portland's practice facility.
Q: Can you comment on Monday's game?
A: We lost. Tough game.
Q: What about the incident with the fan?
A: It was a tough game last night. I wish we could have won. That's about it.
Q: Did you flip off a fan, Bonzi?
A: I don't remember nothing like that, but if I did, I was probably wrong. But I don't remember doing nothing like that. I black out sometimes. (He winks).
Q: You also didn't remember spitting on Danny Ferry.
A: Why do you have to bring up old stuff all the time? Why can't we talk about good stuff sometimes, man?
Q: If you did flip off a fan last night, if your memory does come back, would you apologize?
A: Oh, definitely. When my memory comes back, I will. But, you know, I black out and have black flashes sometimes.
Q: Is your memory about ready to come back?
A: Yeah, I mean, there was something.
