It Takes a Village

While I can enjoy at least some songs from most genres of music, my love for hip-hop reserves a special place in my heart, a place second only to my devotion to reggae. However, my love for hip-hop and rap music has been waning. It's been diminishing because of a boy whose voice I hardly recognize when I call home.

I'm always surprised to hear my nephew's deep, booming voice come on the line - gone is the sweet, high-pitched tone I'd been so accustomed to hearing. I remember when my sister brought him home for the first time, he curled his tiny hand around my finger and I thought I'd never, ever love a boy as much as I love him. In my little girl's mind, he was mine as much as he was my sister's, and this sentiment never changed.

Every year he changes dramatically and every year, my now 14-year-old nephew reminds me of how much older I'm becoming and of all the things in the world I'd like to change so he'd never be negatively affected.

This might be the reason that I was appalled when I heard him singing the words to 50 cent's P.I.M.P - the uncensored version. The shock resonated - my baby boy doesn't use words like that. Where did he hear that song? Why would he think it would be all right for him to sing that song? Most of all, how much does he believe the words of that song to be true to real life?

I would be a hypocrite to tell him to stop bopping his head to a hip-hop beat, or singing the catchy hook of a rap song or any other such activity in which I partake. But he just graduated from junior high school and I am less than a year away from my senior year in college; my grasp on reality and priorities far surpasses his and, at times, even I find myself caught up in the media flare. How well can his swirling pubescent mind sift through the conflicting messages that his surroundings convey?

His mother tells him to be respectful and to value God, his family and education above all, while 50 cent, Joe Budden and Eminem show him their value of Jacob the Jeweler, finding "jump-offs," fantasizing about murdering women or how to "get rich or die trying." His mother drags herself out of bed everyday to go to work to make just enough to pay bills, while the stars live lavishly as a result of cleverly stringing derogatory words together. Which lifestyle would any human being find more attractive?

While these stars can take the Charles Barkley "I'm not a role model" stance with some justification if they so desire, older siblings and other relatives cannot. According to Barkley, parents shouldn't leave ball players to raise their children; this is true and hip-hop and rap stars should not be given that job either. But that old adage "it takes a village to raise a child," stands true even today when our "village" spans miles and oceans as a result of technology and the media - the domain of the stars.

Since it would be hypocritical to expect musicians to stop making the kind of songs that are most profitable to them, it is up to us - the older brothers and sisters, the young aunts and uncles, to be counter-examples in the way we live our lives as well as the way we entertain ourselves.

Don't complain so much about having to go to work; show them that hard work builds character and maybe they'll forget get rich quick schemes that will take them no place good. Do a little less "bootie poppin'" and more reading; show young girls that our bodies aren't our only assets and maybe they won't dream of growing up and being like that girl in the music video. Show them that even if they do find us listening to certain songs, going to certain concerts and watching certain music videos, we hold none of these artists and their messages as true reflections of reality, and neither should they.

I'm not trying to ruin anyone's fun, and if hearing about how much "brain" Joe Budden wants to get tonight makes your day - knock yourself out. But when you're blasting that CD in your room or car remember that tender young ears and minds are taking it all in, and they don't have your level of maturity and life experience to know not to believe whole heartedly in what they are hearing.