Stephon Marbury and the Phoenix Suns put on quite the show Saturday, proving why the NBA Playoffs are just as exciting as ever. In case you didn't watch, the Suns defeated the No. 1 seed San Antonio Spurs by one in overtime. Marbury, the Coney Island Special, hit a bank 3-pointer with no time remaining in overtime to seal the deal. It was a thing of beauty, and the Suns are now the team I will be rooting for to make a run at the title. The odds may be against them in the West, but with "Starbury," Amare Stoudamire (who was in high school last year), Shawn Marion and Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway on the team, anything can happen. And how can you not love the fact that Penny is back in the playoffs? He's just the man! They should definitely bring back his commercials with "L'il Penny."
With the hundreds of entries that we received for the March Moolah Contest, you knew there were going to be a few bonehead brackets in the mix. And I am not talking about those people who picked teams like IUPUI to win it; those guys are just the funny people trying to be wisenheimers. I'm talking about people like this one contestant, who had Pittsburgh and Florida in the final game with Arizona winning it all. Seriously, what happened there, buddy? There really is no excuse for that unless you were either a) smoking crack with George Clinton or b) laughing your tush off because you just looked at the cover of Generation with that crazy looking Mick Foley guy on the cover - a cover which, no doubt, reeked of awesomeness.
But there is another solution to this whacked-out contestant's madness. Maybe she's a huge wrestling fan and thought Arizona was going to pull a Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania IX. You know, the one where Bret Hart dropped the championship to Yokozuna because that diabolical evildoer Mr. Fuji threw salt in "the Hitman's" eyes. She might have felt that Arizona was going to come down the aisle after the winner was decided and take them out to become the new champion just like the Hulkster did two minutes and 45 seconds after Yokozuna was crowned.
Nah, she was probably just smoking crack.
Every time you turn around, the Fox Network has sunk to a new low. "Mr. Personality," hosted by none other than Monica Lewinsky, will be airing in a few weeks. Wow, I really am stunned. Where do they come up with this stuff?
The thing about this show, however, is that it actually has some potential. How about Fox throws some butt-ugly professional athletes in the mix. I would really love to see this chick's reaction after the man she has chosen to be hers is the Dallas Mavericks' Popeye Jones. She would probably vomit all over Lewinsky. But that would be great TV! And just to make sure that the dude that is chosen is some freakish looking guy, Fox would have to load the field of competitors with the ugliest of the ugly. Throw in David Weathers, Luis Sojo, Denny "I look like the guy in 'Mask'" Neagle and Ralph Wilson for good measure, and we have television gold. Get on it Fox.
Deion Sanders and Michael Irvin on the Jimmy Kimmel Show on the same night? Although I absolutely loathe those two, they can be extremely funny in an unintentional way, and I am pretty sure that's why they were put on the show. I bet we can thank ESPN Page 2 columnist and Jimmy Kimmel writer Bill Simmons for that one. The only thing that could have made that show better is if Deion went back to that old school "Soul Glo" hairdo like he had at Florida State. That cut seriously rocked; I wish I could sport it.
Major League Baseball seems to have a problem with security these days. First it was those two hicks back in September jumping Tom Gamboa of the Kansas City Royals and now some guy named Eric Dybas runs on the field and goes buck wild on an umpire. First of all, this just proves my theory that you can never trust a guy named "Eric Dybas." Second of all, I have a solution for the league that will not only help them with their security issues but it will also help out the rest of America. Here's the deal: Have a Whitesnake concert in Wal-Mart while they are having a sale on the ugly clothes that they sell. Then bomb Wal-Mart. Boo bam. Talk about killing 20 birds with one stone.
Texas Ranger Carl Everett was also subjected to fan abuse on Saturday. He was drilled in the head by a cellular phone, courtesy of some fan in the audience. The thing about this one, though, is that Everett deserves to get hit in the head with a cell phone. I'd actually love to see him get hit in the head with a rock. Why does he deserve that, you ask? Because the guy doesn't believe that dinosaurs ever existed. Friggin' botard. Who is he to try and ruin everything I loved when I was child? If I saw him I'd kick him square in the cojones and tell him "that one was for Stegosaurus!"
