"It takes a village to raise a child," said Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. Sorry ma'am - it looks like the village is too busy. Maybe television can fill in for it.
The latest trend in high school security, in light of school shootings and other high-profile incidences of violence such as the massacre Columbine High School, have been armed police officers. Already, other methods have been put in place, such as computer-generated student identification cards, metal detectors, locker searches, or in the case of Highland Park High School in New Jersey, a class on how students can afford "disenfranchising" their peers.
The newly revamped Niagara Falls High School is now equipped with several trained, armed police officers who are ready at the drop of a dime if a fight should break out, students are threatened, intruders trespass on school property, or a student brings a weapon to school. All of these measures are aimed at protecting the safety of students from those who would do them harm and provide a sense of security for parents who entrust teachers and faculty to act in loco parentis.
What's wrong with this picture?
Most people no longer grow up in small rural communities where everyone knows everyone and if little Johnny even looks slightly pale, his teacher (who is also little Johnny's next door neighbor) calls his mother and asks what's wrong. My graduating class of my Queens high school was 1,200 students - you can imagine how easy it is to get lost in that kind of crowd, no matter how concerned your teachers or guidance counselors may be. But what I find disturbing his how everyone is relying on somebody else to take care of their children - parents look to teachers, teachers look to guidance counselors, guidance counselors look to administrators and administrators, lo and behold, are looking to the formal authorities.
Here is an example of a very horrifying but thought-provoking experience I had, doing what most people do instead of doing anything at all - watching television. There was a commercial of a mother and son driving in car. The son had his headphones on and the mother was staring out at the road, neither one speaking to each other. The commercial ended with the quote, "Another missed opportunity to talk to your kids about drugs."
The message was loud and clear. This was not the only commercial of its kind that I have seen. What I learned that moment was that our society has reached a point where parents need commercials to remind them to talk to their kids. Regardless of how liberal, or open-minded, or "in touch with our feelings" people have supposedly become since the emotionally-repressive eras before the 1960s, violence among youths is rising, and when the smoke clears after each bloody outbreak, there is always a sound-bite from a parent sobbing, "I didn't know anything was wrong."
In the case of Columbine High School, the two killers, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebod, had shown signs of antisocial behavior long before they blew away a bunch of their classmates. They produced violent videos and wrote graphic essays centered on violent themes. But no one did anything because "they hadn't broken any rules."
In the meantime, Harris and Klebod hung out in the garage polishing their guns and building explosives for weeks on end. Did Mom and Dad, at any point at all, come downstairs and say, "Honey, what are you guys up to?" "Gee, you've been a little depressed lately, is everything okay?" or "OH MY GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST FIXING YOUR BICYCLE!" No.
I am leery to assert that parents nowadays simply don't care about their kids. That would be an unfair assessment to make, even if your name is Mr. or Mrs. Harris or Klebod. I am also a big fan of taking responsibility for one's own actions, no matter how difficult or miserable one's childhood may have been. But there are certain factors that I believe have contributed to this social downfall-the nuclear family and individualism.
In primitive societies that existed long ago and still exist today, as well as in many Latin American and European cultures, the family focus is not merely on the mother, father and 2.5 children. The family includes grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. What is beneficial about this system is that it does not leave child rearing in the sole hands of two people who have to work full-time and may not even get along very well with each other. Suburban sprawl is also another symptom of the narrow focus on the nuclear family that has made communities and people feel wholly isolated and disconnected from the world around them.
From my own personal experience growing up with divorced parents, it was of immeasurable comfort to me that even though my parents may be at odds with each other, or not home when I came back from school, grandma was always around and my aunt Josephine and uncle Joe had their doors open when I needed someone to talk to and didn't feel I could confide in my parents. This was aided, of course, by the fact that my extended family lived within a five-block radius. It was annoying that if I did so much as sneeze, someone was in my business, but it kept me from falling on my face more than once.
Another reason emotional neglect has permeated our society is the sole focus on the individual rather than the whole and a lack of personal responsibility. The most common phrase I hear when someone is giving advice to another person is, "Do whatever makes you happy." But if everyone is so concerned about their personal happiness, why are so many people miserable? Why Prozac, why Zoloft? Because whether we want to believe it or not, one person's happiness is not mutually exclusive from the community of which he or she is a part. Yet despite the culture or individualism, no one is willing to take responsibility for his or her own actions. It's just easier to blame one's parents for his or her shortcomings, and even easier for someone's parents to blame Marilyn Manson or Eminem for their sweet Junior going over the edge.
Police with guns should not be given the responsibility for raising America's children, be they at Niagara Falls High School or anywhere else. This responsibility must be handed back to the people with whom it belongs. Elementary school through high school is no longer the place where students earn a specialized education - they learn basic skills and how to become integrated and have a role in society. This premise should be the same, whether one attends or works for a school in a sleepy rural town or bustling metropolis. But before teachers and faculty can even begin to fulfill this mission, it has to start at home.
