I feel bad for the Washington Wizards' Rip Hamilton, also known as "Skeletor." Come on now, MJ goes down and this guy is anointed to lead the team to the playoffs? That's like asking Vin Diesel to win an Oscar. It's never going to happen.
I love how some of the NBA teams went back to their classic jerseys. The Sonics went back to their old school green and yellow, which was always a great jersey. But most of all we have to thank the heavens above for the Pistons going back to their old uniforms, which were some of the best in the NBA. I'd rather look at that hideous freak "Bobby Budnick" from the old Nickelodeon show "Salute Your Shorts" than those disgusting old rags.
Note to the Miami Dolphins: Remember, not only do you need a quality running back, you need a line for him to run behind. Lamar Smith averaged 3.1 yards per carry last year. Do you actually think he was that bad? Oh yeah - and getting a real quarterback might help. No team will ever win big with Jay Fiedler at the helm. Not even if you throw $25 million at him.
Around this time last year we were all "watching" the XFL flounder its way through a season. Ah, the memories. On the bright side, at least we still have one wannabe fixture in our lives in Generation magazine. They have the lack of intelligence down. Now all that they are missing are the "He Hate Me" jerseys.
Ruben Rivera, what are you doing? You play for the Yankees, and you decide to steal Derek Jeter's glove and get the boot from the team! His glove? What are you thinking? Steal that little black book of his with the numbers of all the hot chicks he dates, you moron.
If I grow my hair like a Chinchilla, the way Steve Nash of the Dallas Mavericks does, will I be able to go out with a Spice Girl, too?
Ok, so I'm going to be burning my Doug Flutie jersey this weekend. I feel it doesn't deserve to be hung up next to my Todd Collins jersey in the former Bills quarterbacks section of my closet. If anyone wants it you can e-mail me at jfbyrne@acsu.buffalo.edu and place your bid. There is one hitch though. I get to shave your mullet after you purchase the jersey. Sound fair?
Anyone else find Charles Barkley's "unchained" cover of Sports Illustrated a little questionable? It's almost as bad as Larry Johnson's "we're like a bunch of rebellious slaves" comment during the Knicks '99 finals run.
Does Wayne Gretzky remind anyone else of Minkus from the old Boy Meets World episodes? He's such a little dork.
I can't believe I picked Gonzaga to win it all in every single pool that I filled out. What was I thinking, picking a university named after a Muppet?
If Duke wins again I will be in agony for weeks. Having the Blue Devils win again would even be worse than listening to "Poison's Greatest Hits" for eternity.
I'm out like Dennis Miller on Monday Nights. Alleluia!
