Jim Kelly is a symbol of greatness for the Bills and the city of Buffalo, and it was great to see him get what he deserved in having his own day at Ralph Wilson Stadium as well as having his number retired a few weeks ago. I was one of those fortunate enough to be there to witness it, and it truly was great getting to see Kelly as well as Andre Reed, James Lofton and Don Beebe back in the stadium. It brought back great memories of past glory and the excitement of a winning season.
Of course, a Doug Flutie fan had to ruin it. This time it was some morbidly obese woman who resembled Donkey Lips from the Nickelodeon comedy "Salute Your Shorts." She was wearing a Flutie jersey, but kept on lifting it to show off her ta-ta's. It was nauseating, and some people were cheering her to keep on doing it! Flutie fans never cease to amaze.
What was even more nauseating was the Bills performance against San Francisco on Sunday night. 35-0. Pathetic. It was one of the worst games I have ever watched. The Bills look like a high school football team. Maybe they need more discipline. Three words, "Drunk-bus Driver." That man will whip them into shape, I can tell you that. He takes no prisoners. If you have ever heard his profanity-laced tirades against the people who puke or eat on his bus, then you know what I'm talking about.
I will be at the Bills game this Sunday against the Panthers, and I swear if the Bills actually win, I will do the Merton Hanks "funky chicken" dance naked across the field.
But looking on the brighter side, they are a young team. In fact I heard Bills running back, Travis Henry was at Cloud 9 last weekend. Oh yeah my bad - I forgot he likes to have sex with 15-year-olds so that is why he was there.
Anyone else notice the striking similarities between Milwaukee Bucks point guard Sam Cassell and E.T., the extra terrestrial? If Sammy just busted out of nowhere with an "Elllliotttt," I wouldn't be surprised one bit.
Hey Jim Mora guess what? Peyton Manning doesn't suck ... you suck. Don't worry though, Wade Phillips is keeping your seat warm at the unemployment line.
I wonder who the Mets are going to sign in the off-season. Barry Bonds? Juan Gonzalez? Nah, probably not, knowing General Manager Steve Phillips they will probably sign Carl Everett to a multi-year contract. Only Scott Layden, the New York Knicks GM is more of an imbecile. One hundred million dollars to Allan Houston when you know you need a big man on the team. Oh yeah I forgot, good old Scotty brought in Clarence Weatherspoon. Now there's and intimidating presence in the paint.
As the Tyson-Lewis fight draws closer and closer, the anticipation mounts for Tyson to make more ridiculous comments. Perhaps the funniest comment in the history of earth was when Mike Tyson told Lennox Lewis that he was going to "eat his children and his heart," to which Lennox replied, "I don't have children." Pure comedy gold.
I'm out like the Dolphins in the first round of this year's playoffs.
