So the San Diego Chargers have lost two in a row the past two weeks against perennial losers Cleveland Browns and New England Patriots. That would essentially mean Doug Flutie lost. Let me repeat that: Doug Flutie, "Our Lord and Savior," has lost two games in a row. Aw gee, ain't that too bad?
Anyone else love when he almost got his head taken off when by a Brown's player who clotheslined the crybaby? I know when I was watching that play in Hooters I jumped up and cheered. I then proceeded to quietly sit back down because of the dirty looks I was getting from all the Bryce Paup-jerseyed and Zubaz-pants-wearing freaks in the restaurant.
On the subject of the Chargers, rookie running back sensation LaDainian Tomlinson has been tearing the league up lately. So as usual, whenever a player starts doing well, he has to be given a lame nickname. In Tomlinson's case, he is being referred to as "the new LT," LT of course being former Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor. I don't know about you, but if I wouldn't be too flattered to be given a moniker referring to a guy who is a crackhead and has a dangly lightning bolt earring which is even cheesier than Barry Bonds' dangly cross earring.
73 home runs. Makes you feel kind of bad for the guy who dropped $3 million on McGwire's 70th longball, doesn't it?
But on another topic, is Bond's 73rd homer one of the greatest moments in sports history? Probably not; there are a lot to choose from. My personal vote goes to Mets Coach Bobby Valentine going back into the dugout, after he had been ejected, wearing a fake mustache and glasses. That was just classic.
Hey, Yankees Assistant Coach Don Zimmer. Sloth from "Goonies" called. He wants his face back.
We all know who NBC sports analyst Jim Gray is: he's that snively jerk who gets to interview famous athletes like Pete Rose at the Greatest Baseball Players of All Time ceremony, in which good ole Jim hassled him about his gambling past. My question is, how the hell does this guy have a job? The man has the personality of a dead moth. There's no possible way this guy doesn't have connections.
Hey, anyone know what's going on in the MLS (Major League Soccer) these days? Does the lead singer for the Spin Doctors still play?
So Larry "Grandmama" Johnson has retired due to a chronic bad back. C'mon now, who didn't see that one coming?
It's the Bills versus the Jaguars on Thursday Night Football this week. This game promises to be as exciting as a 2-on-2 basketball game featuring NBA and WNBA stars Shaquille O'Neal and Lisa Leslie against Danny Tanner of "Full House" fame and local senior citizens bingo champion Katherine Scipioni.
Wow! It just hit me - I know who the Bills should get to clog up that massive hole in their run defense: the "big guy" himself, Carl Winslow from the old ABC show "Family Matters." Fire Donahoe now and make me GM.
What is going to happen first at Madison Square Garden? A Marcus Camby injury or an Eric Lindros concussion? The anticipation is mounting.
I finally realized why Pete Sampras hasn't won a tennis major in a while. He must have been practicing magic. How else would you explain him making his wife, actress Bridgette Wilson's (Veronica Vaughn in "Billy Madison") taste in men disappear?
