OK Evangelical Christians, it's time you and me had a talk. See, there's something I think you just don't understand – something you don't quite "get."
No, I'm not going to talk about seventh grade science, or first grade logic, or what the part about "separation of church and state" in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution means, so don't worry.
I'm here to talk about what a "choice" is, and why it is you, Evangelical Christians, who do a lot more "choosing" in regard to "morals" (those being sarcastic quotation marks), lifestyle, and adherence to the Bible than all those sinning homosexuals you seem to have such a problem with.
Let's start off with the "choice" of being gay. Now, I could cite any number of scientific reasons why this is completely and totally f***ing wrong, but I know science isn't exactly your guys' thing, so here's a (somewhat humorous) alternative:
If being gay is a choice, than that means either 1.) you have, within your conscious control, the ability to start being attracted to and sexually aroused by members of the same sex, or 2.) you're always aroused by and attracted to members of the same sex, and you just choose not to act on those impulses.
If either of those is the case (according to your own logic, one must), then I have a proposition for all the male homophobes in the audience: I cordially invite you for a night of red-hot gay sex with yours truly so you can prove your point about homosexuality being a "choice." I offer this not because I'm gay (by birth, by choice, or otherwise), but because I know I won't have any takers because the flimsy logic you Evangelicals use to justify your own closed-minded hatred of other human beings is full of crap, and even you know it.
Though this makes for an unbelievably awkward segue, let's now talk about the Bible. I admit, the Biblical sanction against homosexuality in Leviticus 18:22 is pretty clear-cut, just like the Biblical sanctions against eating shellfish (Leviticus 11:10), wearing clothes woven of two types of material (Leviticus 19:19), and allowing women to speak publically or wield authority (1 Timoth 2:12). Strangely, though, I don't see any of you guys protesting outside Joe's Crab Shack, or bombing the men's section of JC Penny's, or trying to stop Michele Bachmann's increasingly disastrous and embarrassing presidential bid.
And though I obviously don't know for sure, I strongly suspect an unquestioned endorsement of those absurd verses wasn't part of the IVCF's illegal "basis of faith" agreement, when the bit about condemning homosexuality clearly was.
So, Christians, what gives?
Allow me to answer that for you, or at least give my own take on the matter. I'm absolutely convinced that the Evangelical condemnation of homosexuality has nothing to do with wishing to follow every line and letter of the Bible, because if it did than you'd all be forcing women to cover their hair in public (1 Corinthians 11:4-16) and putting adulterers to death (Leviticus 20:10, Leviticus 21:9, Deuteronomy 22:22). But you're not.
Instead, it's got everything to do with cherrypicking your ancient holy book to justify your own ass-backward prejudices.
You're the ones doing the "choosing," not homosexuals.
Nowhere is this more apparent than the your stances on things like abortion and birth control, which have no Biblical sanction for or against them at all. But, again, it's got nothing to do with the Bible – it's got everything to do with the fact that people exercising sexual agency and holding sovereignty over their own bodies offends your backward, puritanical sensibilities.
Hey, you know what it does say in the Bible that I've never seen even one self-righteous, self-proclaimed "devout" Evangelical do? "Sell your possessions, and give alms" (Luke 12:33).
Maybe all you "devout" Evangelicals should do that instead of imposing your twisted, hypocritical, self-serving, Bronze-aged hatred on other human beings.
Email: eabenoit@buffalo.edu
