If you're in a relationship, Valentine's Day is an equal-opportunity holiday. You are supposed to honor your significant other, and vice-versa. For me, Valentine's Day is a bit more one-sided.
Four years ago, cupid shot me with his arrow when I met my current boyfriend. The common interests, the similarities and the values are all things we share and we have grown to appreciate each other for who we are.
So, what could possibly be bothering me? It's really nothing serious; it's just a minute detail that I think is worth mentioning because it puts me in a funny Valentine situation.
Well, this is where it gets tricky. My birthday and Valentine's Day are on two completely different days, which are months apart from each other. This means that he has ample time between occasions to do something thoughtful for me. But it's not that easy for me because his birthday is Feb. 14. Yes, he was born on Valentine's Day and this is why I am in such a bind.
My sweetheart and I have been a couple for two years now and for Christmas of 2005, we decided that we would not be exchanging gifts on this holiday. It was actually my idea because I really couldn't think of a gift to get him so I proposed the idea and he accepted.
However, I did stress that Valentine's Day and birthdays must be celebrated with gifts because for me, those are the days when I want my boyfriend to make me feel special. I just enjoy the occasional thoughtful, from-the-heart gifts and for me, if it cost 99 cents and it was from the heart, you're the apple of my eye.
So I am wondering what other students out there do to make this day especially unique as a birthday and a holiday to celebrate your love for a significant other who may celebrate both on one day. Facebook lists 27 people at UB who have birthdays on Valentine's Day and that doesn't even include those who have birthdays within a week of that time.
I think it's wrong of me to want him to celebrate Valentine's Day because I know that if it were my birthday, I would want all eyes on me. This is his special day because it's his birthday.
But here's the dilemma: I'm a part of this relationship too and I want to feel special on Valentine's Day. I don't want that treatment from anyone else but him.
As a result, I have been racking my brain for the past couple of weeks trying to figure out what to do and what it is that would make him happy on his birthday and would make me happy on Valentine's Day. It's not easy because this is the one day out of the year that he gets the chance to celebrate his birth.
That is why I have decided that I will shower him with love and gifts on Feb. 14 because he deserves it. I think it's great that he was born on the one day of the year which I correlate with love. He is a loving guy and I think people who are born on Feb. 14 are very special.
So to ensure that his day is a special one, I have decided that I do not want him to worry about what to get me for Valentine's Day, but instead I have promised to put my mushy needs aside and let him have the spotlight. I don't want him to feel he has to put his birthday on the backburner just because he has a girlfriend. Everyone wants to be a little selfish on their birthday so I think it's appropriate for me to just let it go and let him enjoy his day.
Ultimately, for anyone else who may be in the same situation, it's up to you how you celebrate each event. But for me, I've decided not to be selfish and help him make this birthday another memorable event. My honey is an Aquarius so according to the description of this sign, he was born to be a lover, not a fighter and I honestly couldn't ask for anything more. I am happy to have him in my life and like everyone else out there, he deserves to feel special.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
