T.O. has B.O.

If I were in charge of the alphabet, the letters "T" and "O" would be the first to go. So what if we'd only have 24 other letters to use?

Kudos to the Philadelphia Eagles for getting T.O. off the field, if only for the time being.

I vaguely recall a sign all over ESPN last year when someone cleverly wrote that T.O. has B.O. Since then, Owens has starred in Right Guard commercials to help the smell that emits from his pits, but recently he's been producing a stench from another bodily orifice: his mouth.

I have absolutely no pity for the big-mouthed wide receiver that makes millions upon millions. There is no denying the talent that Terrell Owens has but he crosses too many lines with his poor attitude and lack of respect for others.

Owens has no problem catching passes from Donovan McNabb and creating new and not-so-exciting end zone celebrations. Come on, putting a towel over your arm and using the football as a platter? I'd rather see the icky shuffle.

End-zone dances aside, Owens opened his trap on national television dogging his quarterback's skills. Sure, it's a matter of personal opinion who one thinks is better between McNabb and Brett Farve, but one of those two is Owens' teammate and that should take precedence.

T.O. and McNabb don't have to act like schoolgirls, playing with each other's hair and having tea parties, but Owens should give the Campbell's Chunky Soup lover some respect.

Need I mention the Monday Night Football fiasco T.O took part in last year with desperate housewife Nicollette Sheridan? He ended the skit saying that his team would just have to play without him due to a naked Sheridan. That night, the Eagles didn't play without Owens against the Cowboys. However, this past Monday night was the same match up and Owens was sitting at home in Atlanta while the Eagles played on.

He may not know any better. The fact that he pays his pompous agent Drew Rosenhaus a nice chunk of change to take care of him proves that he's an idiot.

Owens was so worried about his contract and how much he would get paid to catch passes from McNabb, he held out at the beginning of the season and chose to do sit-ups in his driveway for cameras instead of obey his coach at the practice fields. Aside from the lack of respect Owens portrayed through his defiance, he showed a high level of commitment to the cash coming his way. If he cares so much about money, why would he pay Rosenhaus, of all people, to monitor him?

Rosenhaus may be the smartest man alive, getting paid for doing absolutely nothing by one of the biggest limelight and money lovers of all time. The agent extraordinaire sees green when he sees Owens and it's not because of his jersey.

Rosenhaus is supposed to be Owens' agent. He's supposed to be helping him out and thinking in the best interests of his client. My major isn't rocket science but it appears that Rosenhaus hasn't been accomplishing that task very well as of late.

Following up a client's "heartfelt" apology by addressing the media's questions with the more-often-than-not response of "Next question" isn't exactly helping the chances of sympathy and reconsideration of his actions.

Rosenhaus ranks right up there with Lee Anne DeVette, Tom Cruise's sister and now former publicist. Under DeVette's watch, Cruise showed the "real" him, which includes bashing fellow actors for their antidepressant use and jumping on couches over his insurmountable love for Katie Holmes.

If the crazy man that the public now sees is the "real" Cruise, his former agent did one heck of a job withholding that image from the public. Maybe Owens can hire whomever that agent is to help him, as my dad always said, put a lid on it.

I should have listened to my dad when he duct taped a sign with large capital letters referring to the bodily odor of Owens on a wall at the end of an end zone at Cleveland Browns Stadium.

T.O. does in fact have B.O. and it's coming from his mouth. Normally, I wouldn't admit that my dad is right, especially in print, but I forgot to get him a birthday present.