First dates are difficult. You have to figure out the perfect outfit - one that makes you look effortlessly good looking - you have to plan something to do that is fun but not too complicated, and you have to worry about discussion topics when those inevitable awkward pauses happen.
Even if it isn't a "date," hanging out with someone you like more than a friend is stressful. Once you get to the planned event, which usually includes a meal of some sort, the stress continues. What do you order? Who is going to pay? Will ordering a glass of water make you look cheap? With all the stress already inside you, sometimes you don't even have an appetite.
There are some foods that are an absolute no-no when it comes to a first, second or even third date. Date food needs to be something that won't stain the flawless outfit when you accidentally drop some of it in your lap, something that allots for minimum chewing time and optimal talking time and something that doesn't make you look like a savage while trying to eat it.
I openly admit I am an unattractive eater. I usually get food or sauce on my face, sometimes I forget I'm chewing if I have something interesting to say and I always cut up the entire chicken into little pieces before I eat it (like my mommy used to do).
In order to avoid even more embarrassing food circumstances, I have a list of foods that are never a good idea to eat on a date.
The first is salad. Many girls believe salad is delicate enough to eat in public. But have you ever really paid attention to yourself while eating one? The noise lettuce makes is similar to the sound of breaking a burnt piece of toast, and it echoes in your head. So even if your man is talking to you across the table, you won't be able to hear him over the noises in your mouth and he will be distracted by the idea of stepping on a bag of chips as he can hear the lettuce in your mouth.
Don't even get me started on the toppings, dressing or chopped salads that have the potential to get stuck in your teeth, spill or be difficult to acquire with a fork.
Sushi is also a bad idea. As romantic as it is to go for an expensive and fancy raw seafood dinner, it's unattractive. An average sushi roll is around one inch in diameter and as much as he may want to see something else of that diameter entering your mouth, sushi is not foreplay. Chopsticks are hard, rice leaks out, the fish falls out and sometimes the whole roll doesn't fit in your mouth and that's embarrassing. Plus, there is always that slight danger of food poisoning and you don't want to ruin your chance of a goodnight kiss.
For all those appetizer lovers out there, don't order the mozzarella sticks. You may argue that finger foods are safe and most are. But have you ever tried to eat a mozzarella stick, bit into it, and ended up with a strand of cheese six miles long? I have. There is not a more awkward silence than your date watching you try to bite, cut, rip or tear that skinny cheese string. Talk about a weird first impression. This only happens when the sticks are still hot, so if your date insists on the Italian appetizer, wait a minute or so until they cool down.
Pasta should be a no-brainer. Spaghetti is a no, never, bad idea - stop it. Real life doesn't happen like Lady and the Tramp where you will both pick the same noodle strand with your faces and end up in a romantic kiss with a mouth full of pasta. Spaghetti is hard to roll onto a fork, the red sauce usually splatters during the process, there will be an awkward amount of leftovers - which as a college student will pain you to throw away - and nobody wants to hear the inevitable slurping that accompanies the pasta dangling from your mouth.
However, sandwiches are great. As long as they are not overstuffed with a crazy amount of sauce and toppings, you should be able to eat it in a civil manner. Take normal size bites and allow your date to talk while you're chewing. By the time you swallow, he or she should be finished which gives you time to answer and your date to take a bite. There is a reason picnics are a great first date idea.
Also, nothing is wrong with a smoothie or milkshake date. There is nothing safer than drinking your meal from a covered cup, sucking through a straw. If you're feeling romantic, use two straws and one cup.
Keep these tips in mind the next time you go out with someone you like and you're sure to keep the unattractive eating disasters to a minimum.
Email: rachel.kramer@ubsectrum.com
