Have you ever committed a crime against UB sports, yet not know about it? As Mike McDermott would say, "If you can't spot the sucker at your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker." This famous quote from the film "Rounders" also applies to sports fandom. If you can't spot the bandwagon fan with in the first 30 minutes of a game, then you are the bandwagon fan.
And for those that need a little more information to know for sure, here are 10 ways to know if you are a real UB sports fan. Find the results at the bottom.
1. If you are a lowly freshman, and are lucky enough to get front row seats in the student section you:
A. Give up your seat to an upperclassman fan.
B. Stay in your front row seat, while sitting in your hands and not cheering. (Hint: this is not the correct answer)
C. Squeeze in so that both you and the upperclassman can fit in the front row. After all, there is no need for a seat when you are standing the whole game.
A. Shows his or her support for all of the UB sports. The men's swimming team is having a great season led by a bunch of freshmen and sophomores, while the men's soccer team is a perennial threat to win the MAC championship.
B. Only roots for the men's basketball team and the football team. Football and basketball are the only sports that matter.
C. Only roots for the men's basketball team because they are the only team that wins.
D. Doesn't root for the teams, just goes for the atmosphere.
3. The best sport to heckle an opposing team is at...
A. A men's basketball game, especially against the hometown rivals Canisius and Niagara. "HIGHSCHOOL GYM!"
B. A women's swimming meet. There is no one there, and the athletes would obviously hear you. Plus, who wouldn't love to go streaking and dive right into the pool?
C. As long as I'm drunk, who cares what sport I'm heckling.
D. The UB baseball games - it is your best chance to see a brawl.
4. When faced with the option of sleeping in your own bed or camping outside for the UB Pitt. on Friday night in Reggieville you...
A. Grin and bear it. This is a once in a lifetime event, people. Show some support for the university.
B. Show up for a little bit to show your support before leaving for the comforts of home.
C. Stay inside sipping on your warm apple cider.
D. Show up at 7 a.m. and cut the people in line who waited outside all night.
5. Are you able to name the entire roster for the men's basketball team?
A. I can name the starters, their numbers, and all of the coaches for every men's team since I've been here.
B. I can name the starters, their numbers, and all of the coaches.
C. I can name the starters.
D. Um... isn't one of them from Moracco?
6. Your position on Yassin Idbihi is...
A. He is the leading rebounder in school history, plus a consistent scorer. He's very good for MAC standards
B. The guy speaks six different languages, that's really cool.
C. YASSIIIIIN THE DREEEEAAAAM! He should be in the NBA.
D. Idbihi sucks, bench him! He's goofy!
7. Are you a member of the infamous ubfan.com?
A. I've been there a couple times.
B. What's ubfan.com?
C. Isn't that guy with the cowboy hat who's always in the stands there.....I think he goes by the name Big Bobby.
D. Yeah, I'm the moderator.
A. BYAH!
B. God bless you.
C. That is so 2003.
D. I really don't care.
9. Who is Connor Vander Zalm?
A. A freshman swimmer on the men's swimming and diving team who is having a breakout season.
B. There are way too many students at this university to know who some random dude is.
C. One of the children in "The Sound of Music."
D. I can't even spell his last name let alone say it.
10. Who is the better no. 11 Rasaun Young or Turner Battle?
A. They are both great players, and both of their jerseys numbers deserve to be retired.
B. Who cares.... Cage Crazies forever!
C. Who's Rasaun Young?
D. Who's Turner Battle?
Now it is time to add up the scores. For every A, give yourself one point; B, two points; C, three points and D, four points.
If your point total is between:
0-10: Congratulations, you are a real UB sports fan.
10-20: You're a UB sports fan, however it's time to step it up a notch.
20-30: I question your integrity as a UB sports fan, however, I need more proof to call you a full out traitor.
30-40: Bandwagon / fair weather fan. Hopefully you're a bandwagon fan - you're committing yourself to the team, you just got there late. A fair-weather fan comes and goes, due to how good the team is. Fair weather fans, you suck!
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
