Kemp, Ferguson, Kelly, Bledsoe...Vick?
The Bills' days of immobile pocket passer's came to an end late Tuesday with the epic signing of the leagues hottest young player. Not yet unannounced to the public, Vick, who turns 24 in June, signed on for an estimated $144 million over the next eight years, including a record $43 million signing bonus.
It all began around 8 p.m. on Tuesday night when a strange course of events were set into motion by the abrupt resignation of charismatic Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank. Speculation surrounding Blank's departure is extremely vague at this time, but rumors include misappropriation of team funds and embezzlement.
"Anything that is being passed around amongst media outlets is strictly hear-say as of right now," said newly acquired head coach Jim Mora Jr. "What we do know is the Mr. Blank has stepped down as team owner, and certain moves have begun to be made in regards to personnel. The National Football League has mandated that we wheel and deal in order to make up for lost funds that are unbeknownst to us at this time. Thank you."
The Atlanta Falcons then embarked on a four-hour barrage of placing high-salary marquee players on waivers, including Vick, RB Warrick Dunn, TE Alge Crumpler, WR Brian Finneran, and LB Keith Brooking.
The Bills were the first team to offer Vick a contract ready to be inked. And after Vick entertained offers from all interested teams, Buffalo's proposition remained the most lucrative. The superstar jumped at the unprecedented salary and immediately professed his excitement on moving to Western New York.
"Believe it or not, I love the snow," stated an elated Vick early Wednesday morning. "I am an avid skier and love to hunt them wild deer y'all got running around up there. This is a dream come true."
So what exactly does this all mean for current Bills quarterback Drew Bledsoe? As if anyone cares. Michael frigging Vick is the new quarterback. Until the Bills can officially release Bledsoe in November, he'll have ample time to become acquainted with the rigors of holding a clipboard for Coaches Mularkey and Weiss.
"Michael Vick's a special player," said Bledsoe. "He's great for the city. He's great for the fans. He's great for the Buffalo Bills organization."
"It is on now," exclaimed running back Travis Henry. "Ain't no stopping the Bills stampede with my man Vick running the O."
Bills head coach Mike Mularkey was unavailable for comment before press time. Chances are he, Donahoe, and the rest of the Bills coaching staff remained in 'Hot'lanta to celebrate with Vick and his entourage of rappers, beautiful woman, and hip-hop socialites.
The city of Buffalo is planning a welcome rally for Vick and his posse this Saturday in Niagara Square. The MC will be none other than Jim Kelly himself, including appearances by Mitch Ferotte, Leon Seals, Jamie Mueller, Kirby Jackson, and Matt Darby.
Complimentary Vick jersey's will be given to the first 1,000 people that arrive. Festivities are set to begin at about 5 p.m. Nobody will be allowed to assemble in the square before 2 p.m.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
