About one in five high school students report that they have experienced bullying at some point in their life. Bullying and social isolation can create a lifetime of mistrust and anxiety. Yet little is done to highlight the stories of those affected. Aryman Mishra, is a computer science major, who wants his story to be told.
Aryman Mishra was born and raised in Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh, India. He said that he never really had “any problems with people” until he was 14. It was in eighth grade when everything started to change.
One night, an anonymous classmate made a Facebook post on his school’s feed, directly mentioning Mishra by name. It accused him of general taunts such as “not having a life.” After this, he began to notice a distinct shift in how his classmates treated him.
Mishra says that, as an international student, he appreciates the emphasis that Americans place on mental health.
“I did not have that privilege. My parents were real liberal, but I could not tell them that this was happening with me.” He cites the fact that attending an all-boys school contributed to why he didn’t tell his parents, because of standards around masculinity, and how boys are supposed to be “tough” and are taught to “deal with problems on our own,” he said.
As he progressed throughout the years, the bullying continued, and this began to weigh heavily on him as he lost his academic edge.
Outside of school, the bullying persisted. Classmates attended the same tutoring institution as him, so he could not escape it.
One day, Mishra casually mentioned to a teacher that his car looked a “little banged up.” What followed was something that was nothing short of traumatic for him.
“He took me by tie… he almost choked me around my neck, and he paraded me through the school grounds like a donkey, and he took me in front of all the teachers. He said that this guy's a f—ing idiot,” Mishra said.
What really hurt him was that it felt like a betrayal.
“I had respected and had loved [that teacher] almost like a father figure for me… that one day in August really shattered me.”
Later on, Mishra came across a news article on social media. Two of his bullies were speaking at a workshop for mental health.
Mishra began to turn to inspirational figures to help him persevere. A fan of racing, it was actually Lewis Hamilton, the race car driver, that inspired him to persevere. Emphasizing that, “I do not do much worship of celebrities. I think it's a very cringe thing,” Hamilton’s story of experiencing racism and persevering through inspired him and gave him strength.
Eventually, things got better. After being moved to a new class, things turned around. He made friends, and his grades began to improve.
“I'll always be grateful to that class, cause they helped me recuperate… they gave me that break that I wanted from all those years,” he said.
Since arriving here at UB, he says that the years of bullying have made him wary about meeting new people. “That’s why I do not trust people who have big social circles. Compared to others, I have a very short friend circle. I’m happy with having just two guys with me, and I can spend my years with them,” Mishra said.
He is genuinely happy right now with it. “I don’t want to be this party animal, social animal. Have 200, 300 likes on social media. I’m just happy with the group of genuine humans that I know of,” Mishra said.“I’m doing good in life right now. It broke down, I somehow managed to build it all back.”
Mishra is approaching life from the perspective of “one day at a time.”
“The best thing is that I'm not focusing on my past, but I always have an eye out for the future. Life is short, buddy,” he said.
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Photo: Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
