Doing the nasty doesn’t have to sound nasty. Pick a song that gets you hard, not one that makes sex harder.
The Spectrum asked UB students what songs would get them humped and which ones would leave them dumped.
Songs, both predictable and unexpected, slid their way into this list — and countless bedrooms.
Here’s what UB students said:
PASS — “The Phantom of the Opera” Broadway Cast Recording
The spooky, melodramatic organ of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s iconic musical is not exactly an aphrodisiac.
But one student said the soundtrack is a favorite of an acquaintance, who uses it to get in the mood for some self-love.
“I know a guy that [plays] it all the time,” the sophomore psychology major said. “Usually it’s a solo thing.”
SMASH — “WAP” by Cardi B (ft. Megan Thee Stallion)
One UB student said this scandalous song is one of the best to get down and dirty to — but not for the reasons you might expect.
“If I actually heard that playing, I would laugh so hard,” a sophomore psychology and neuroscience major said. “That would just make the vibe so much better because then I have an excuse if I’m laughing anyway.”
PASS — “Someone Like You” by Adele
Adele might be perfect for a night spent drinking alone in your dorm room. But the “Rolling in the Deep” singer’s ballads are not ideal for going balls deep.
“I can’t imagine someone thrusting to ‘never mind I’ll find…’” a senior psychology major sang. “That would be so weird. I wouldn’t leave, I would just change it to a new song.”
SMASH — “Gooey” by Glass Animals
Glass Animals’ “Gooey” gets one senior communication major in the right headspace to explore something equally wet and sticky.
“It’s very sexy. It’s slow and deep, and I think the name is appropriate,” he said. “The lyrics also are oddly suggestive of, like, ‘Come over here.’”
PASS — “Happy” by Pharrell Williams
This catchy tune terrorized radio listeners in 2014 and, for that reason, is barred from the bedroom.
“I don’t think I have a reason,” a senior english major said. “I just hate the song as it is.”
SMASH — “I Know It’s Over” by The Smiths
One sophomore English major embraced this emotional track for a sad sensuality — something gloomy just gets them moody.
“It’s sad, a little bit, but not too much,” they said.
PASS — “Cbat” by Hudson Mohawke
This viral song left many TikTok users wondering how one could possibly get off to the weird wonky noises that Hudson Mohawke calls music.
One UB student actually gave it a shot.
“It makes me laugh too hard, and I lose my boner,” a sophomore theatre major said.
SMASH — “Blue Lines” by Massive Attack
One UB student says his sex playlist wouldn’t be complete without this dark, sensual cut from English trip hop collective Massive Attack.
“[It’s] slow and moody, and kind of funky,” the junior photography major explained. “I feel like that’s a good atmosphere to set.”
PASS — “Our Song” by Taylor Swift
This cutesy 2006 single from a then-16-year-old Taylor Swift probably isn’t going to seduce anyone, Swiftie or not. Swift’s country twang is an instant mood killer for one junior photography major.
“Imagine going at it to ‘Our Song,’” he said. “I feel like the Southern accent sounds really overproduced… kind of like, overemphasized.”
SMASH — “Moment’s Silence” by Hozier
A junior English major takes sexual cues from this poetic ode to oral sex.
“I have a meticulous sex playlist that’s for when I’m dominating men,” they explained. “It’s outlined by different acts and one of the most substantial chunks is led by ‘Moment’s Silence,’ which is a song about Hozier receiving a blowjob, and so the sex playlist kind of walks me through the sex.”
PASS — “Cantina Song” from the “Star Wars” soundtrack
One sophomore media study major said his friend taught him that there’s a dark side to sex. This unfortunate tale from a galaxy not so far, far away is a lesson to all UB students that the force may or may not be with you if you decide to play with your “lightsaber” while listening to a song from the “Star Wars” soundtrack.
“This one girl he was hooking up with put on the ‘Star Wars’ soundtrack and, right when they started doing it, they put ‘Cantina Song’ on,” he remembered. “And so he finished to that.”
Meret Kelsey is the senior arts editor and can be reached at email@example.com
Alex Novak is an arts editor and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
Meret Kelsey is an assistant arts editor at The Spectrum.
Alex Novak is a senior arts editor at The Spectrum.