Some like it rough

Have you ever imagined being pushed up against a wall by a man or pushing a girl against the wall and completely ravishing each other for hours upon hours? Ever thought of tying your partner to the bed giving you complete control of him or her? Maybe you should read the latest erotic phenomenon: Fifty Shades of Grey.

It's a terribly written book. There's barely any semblance of a plot, the characters are unsympathetic and un-relatable to the point of being annoying and obnoxious and you can catch numerous grammar mistakes throughout the book. So then, you might be asking yourself, why are women (and some men, I'm sure) lining up at the closest Barnes and Noble to buy this novel?

Well, let's take a look at this excerpt: "Before I know it, he's got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he's pinning me to the wall using his lips...his other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine."

And we have our answer.

Fifty Shades of Greyis not a literary masterpiece. But that doesn't mean it has no value. It has lifted the veil of female fantasy, giving women the opportunity to read and discuss something that would have been considered a taboo subject only a few months ago.

Not only that, but have you heard that rope sales are up recently? According to an article by The New York Post, many women are: "...even slipping into hardware stores and demurely asking for bondage material."

Maybe men shouldn't be complaining about the book after all.

Friends of mine have called Fifty Shades "mommy porn," due to all of the older women ranting, raving and panting about the erotic novel. Hey, it's just their alternative to watching videos on Brazzers or pornhub.com.

There are a multitude of different reasons for why women (and men) don't like porn. Some feel it's degrading to women; others don't like their significant other watching it because they consider it cheating.

What Fifty Shades does is give women the opportunity to imagine these naughty - and when I say naughty I mean sex playroom filled with whips and chains naughty - scenarios in the comfort of their own brains, while not making them feel guilty.

The scenes in the book tapped so well into the fantasy part of our minds that it was easy to forget about the choppy writing because all you could focus on was the spanking, whipping and tied to the wall, submissive/dominant sex.

The book is all about experimentation.

The main character is not only introduced to the BSDM sexual lifestyle, but to sex in its entirety - she starts off the novel as a virgin. She's thrown into the world of sex just as many of the readers are thrown into the world of rough sex.

According to Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist at Good Vibrations in an article by Mens Health: "There is a sense of being erotically overwhelmed that comes along with being restrained, and many women find it quite passionate."

So men, if your girl is reading this book, there's a good chance that she'd be open to trying some kinky sex.

The best way to do that is to start off slow - diving right in and buying a sex swing tomorrow is probably not the best idea.

Start out with some restraining. Blindfold him (or her). And before you start off with some handcuffs, try tying up your partner's hands with a lacy pair of your underwear or a necktie (I hear grey silk works wonders). The restrainer feels the rush of power and control, while the restrained gives him or herself up to be at the mercy of the restrainer.

Both scenarios can be equally sexy.

Spanking, (light) hair pulling and nibbling are the introductory moves in Rough Sex 101. Then, if you test those out and come to like them, move on to scratching and pining down your partner. If you're really the sexually adventurous type, you might want to see how you like choking in the bedroom.

Try it and if you don't like it, then go back to "vanilla sex," as Christian Grey so aptly named non-BSDM sex.

Power and control are sexy and can really spice up the bedroom. But make sure to communicate with your partner often and maturely. Jumping into the rougher side of sex can be exciting, but shouldn't be taken lightly. If your partner says they don't like something, stop and try something else. If you're getting really intense, have a safe word.

But hey, some like it rough. Maybe you will, too.

Email: features@ubspectrum.com