Dear B,
I don't want it to seem like I was total prude in high school. I had a couple boyfriends, but nothing that was ever too serious. I'm a virgin, and it's not something I like to announce publicly. Should I just get the first time over with to avoid potential embarrassment? Are guys completely turned off by a girl who is still holding onto her V-card?
Signed, A Reluctant Mother Mary
B: First, if anyone is making you feel ashamed for being a virgin, then those people are not worth your time. Seriously. There's nothing wrong with viewing sex as a very special and intimate act, and I've found that many people stretch their "number" or say they lost it at a younger age to sound experienced.
Take it from a girl who's experienced it (and not until she was in college, too) - wait for the one who is worth it because your first time is not going to be enjoyable at all. It's painful, awkward, and you really don't know how to navigate naked bodies even though you think you do. And not to mention there's nothing worse than the regret of giving it away before you're ready or to a person who doesn't care about you.
If you think you're ready, just be honest with your potential lover. Let him know that this is still new to you and ask him to be patient. If he's turned off by the fact that you haven't slept around, let him go find a girl that does.
Dear B,
I was a little bit of a partier in high school. While I wasn't sh*t-faced every weekend, I had a few nights of alcoho- induced fun with a few friends. But what is the deal with "college parties?" Are frat parties as crazy as they are in the movies? Are people invited, or do you just show up? And what the hell is jungle juice?
Signed, I-just-want-to-show-off-my-beer-pong-skills
B:Every wide-eyed college freshman thinks he or she will show up at school and proceed to live the Animal House lifestyle - party hopping every night, no classes in sight, and "I Love College" as a perpetual soundtrack. Oh, and beautiful, outrageous Greek life.
But really, frat parties are not at all like what you see in the movies. The house is so packed with people that you can't even breathe, the keg is always empty by the time you reach it, and lame frat guys just try to get with you. You end up being way too sober and too annoyed to have any fun.
If you wander around the Heights, you're sure to find some kind of open party. But beware the jungle juice - any alcohol you could think of thrown into one big mixture; it's extremely dangerous because you never know what you're drinking.
I think every college kid should experience a few parties - frat or otherwise - in his or her four years, but don't get excessive. It's nice to unwind after a week of classes, but you're paying to get a degree - don't throw that away.
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Email: advice@ubspectrum.com
