Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Would Write A Column About Barstool?
If you're one of the six people who haven't heard of barstoolsports.com, stop everything you're doing and get to a computer.
Seriously. If you're in class, your professor will understand.
In fact, he'll probably make fun of you for being stuck in 2008, and he was planning to either fail you for living under a rock or send KFC an e-mail to humiliate you on the Internet.
So, pretend you're slipping out for a bathroom break – you know, the same way you leave night class early every week by putting your books away smoothly, zipping your backpack up silently, and holding your jacket and bag out of your professor's sight while you tip-toe toward the door – and get on the web immediately. (Breathe easy, the KFC reference will make sense soon enough.)
Oh, you're already in the middle of an overly loud bathroom break between classes and needed some literature to take your mind off how awkward you're making it for the other restroom patrons? Then drop The Spectrum and get to a computer; there's no way your butt can get any dirtier than it already is after sitting on a UB toilet, anyway.
If you don't know about the aforementioned website, ask yourself this: what do I do on the Internet besides read weird news stories, creep on Facebook, and watch funny videos?
Save your smart remark. There may be hundreds of trillions of websites that help you do an array of weird things, but most of your time spent online revolves around those three activities.
Trying to sum up Barstool is difficult, but this is what I've come up with: it's a city-specific, humor-based blog geared toward unmarried men that provides hilarious commentary on various news stories, videos, and smoking hot girls while bordering the thin line that separates copyright infringement, sexism, and political correctness.
In other words, it's the Internet.
If these descriptions haven't intrigued you, it's probably because you're a female. (This isn't another Spectrum sexist column, I promise.) Ironically, that's what makes Barstool so impressive: it's meant for guys (as evidenced by the plethora of half-naked women, "Smokeshow of the Day" feature, and "Guess That Ass" segment), but girls tend to frequent the site just as much as their male counterparts.
Whether they're checking to see if their Facebook pictures are of Smokeshow-quality, picking apart the flaws of the girls featured on the site, or wondering about what guys find funny, Barstool gets plenty of hits from curious females.
My favorite part about the site, however, has little to do with the girls featured. Well, usually.
Although I love watching the videos, with my recent favorites being "2 Dudes Respond to ‘Rear View Girls,'" "Is This The Best Post-House Burned Down In A Fire Live Interview Of All Time?," (yes, it was) and "The Big 3 Is Now Complete…," I can't get enough of the "Does This Look Like The Face Of…" additions.
The best part about Barstool (New York) is that it's impossible to pick a best part. It gets updated numerous times throughout the day, gives hilarious – yet accurate – perspectives on New York sports teams, keeps up with pop culture, offers odd-ball news stories that reassure one's sanity and self-confidence, and rips Boston and Philly – the two most hateable sports cities outside of New York – to shreds on a daily basis.
My only qualm – which as an editor I wouldn't feel right not mentioning – is that the bloggers' grammar could use a little work. Aside from that, it's the best website out for college students, and it's probably going to ruin the economy soon enough. KFC put it best on Tuesday at 11:40 a.m.:
I mean what is gonna happen when a couple more [Barstool] sites launch? 1 of 2 things – Either Barstool completely takes over the internet and no other site in existence gets any hits because there just simply isn't enough time in the day to read all of the Barstool network[s] and other blogs. Or productivity at every job everywhere across America plummets. Just too many Asses to Guess and too many Smokes to click and this country comes to a screeching halt. Or, most likely, both. Which is like the Perfect Storm.