Sometimes we need to stop relying on others for advice and start listening to our own intuition. However, when you get such compelling advice as, "Never date a girl who can read," I can understand how one would be hesitant to pass that up.
For some guys, avoiding any girl who happens to be literate might seem like a great suggestion. These men wouldn't have to worry about, heaven forbid, holding a conversation or partaking in a meaningful relationship. More importantly, however, these guys don't have to be concerned with any woman threatening their perceived dominance.
We don't live in the 1950s anymore. Most women these days, especially those that would be reading a college newspaper, are not only literate but also have career aspirations. These woman, who you see "with a stack of books in front of her at the library," would probably have very little interest in speaking to a man who undermines her intelligence.
Here's a thought: don't evaluate a woman's apparent worth based on her outward appearance and actually hold a conversation with said individual. Simply due to the fact that one's IQ is above or below a certain number should have no bearing on the amount of respect he or she receives.
If you're incapable of speaking to someone without the intention of eventually "manipulating" the individual, perhaps you should work on your own self-esteem. If a man or woman can't handle a strong significant other in his or her life, it could be representative of a deficiency in his own concept of self-worth.
Personally, I've had my fair share of ignorant men who can't seem to fathom that a reasonably attractive female could possibly possess any semblance of intelligence. In response to my friend mentioning that I was shadowing a surgeon at ECMC, an acquaintance retorted with, "I wonder who she had to sleep with to get that job."
If a man can't handle a woman who aspires to have a career and be successful, stay away. In a society where women are gaining unprecedented speed toward equality, these uninformed and antiquated individuals have no place. Men, it's time to be humbled; perhaps this was the first time this man had come in contact with an academically-successful woman, but it certainly won't be his last.
Girls, we're not entirely innocent, though. How seriously can any man take you when your boobs are pushed up to your chin, you're pulling your dress down to cover your rear-end, and you can barely stand upright outside of Mojo's in your three-inch heels? Needless to say, you're not exactly projecting the image of class that every man would eventually like to bring home to his parents.
Don't put yourself in a position to be disrespected. It's easy to say you deserve respect, but it's entirely different to demand respect through your actions. Work toward being secure enough with yourself to not feel the need to control or manipulate another. You might just meet that special someone… and I bet she'll be literate.
E-mail: jennifer.harb@ubspectrum.com
