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Sunday, May 19, 2024
The independent student publication of The University at Buffalo, since 1950

Father of the year


Travis Henry is proof that karma exists.

???The former Buffalo Bills running back used to tear through defenses like a hot knife through butter, but during his successful but short career, Henry also ran through his fair share of honey dips.

???Henry can now start a defensive unit with his own children. He has fathered 11 children with 10 different mothers, all but one outside his residence in Colorado. They range from 3 years old to 11 years old.

???He must have chosen his baby mamas based on a Howard Dean speech.

???Byah!

???One more notch on the belt and he could be starring in the next Cheaper By the Dozen.

???But Henry has recently fallen on hard times. He was suspended for the 2008 season for violating the league's substance abuse policy when he tested positive for marijuana. It was the second time Henry was caught "going green."

???This came on the heels of his release by then Broncos head coach Mike Shanahan, who grew tired of Henry's lackluster commitment to the team.

???Then everything immediately went downhill. In September, Big Daddy Henry was arrested by the Drug Enforcement Administration for cocaine possession with the intent to sell. He faces 10 years to life on federal drug trafficking charges.

???The child support payments probably weren't a problem when he was playing football and distributing sugar to the local sweet fiends.

???But when you have to pay $170,000 a year for child support on no cocaine or football income, you run into problems. It didn't help that Henry blew through millions of dollars like the addicts inhaled Henry's supreme Coca-Cola.

???Henry has fallen behind on child support payments and faces more jail time because of it.

???"I did use protection at first," Henry said to The New York Times. "Then they'd be saying they'd be on the pill. I was an idiot to trust them. Second or third time with them, I didn't use it. Then, boom!"

???An explosion of children landed in Henry's lap. He is either the most gullible person ever or the women he conceived children with were witches that hypnotized the poor man like Biggie.

???Maybe he just became anti-condom. It's true that an $11 12-pack of condoms would have been a good investment for Henry. Fathering multiple children and supporting only one of them is not a good habit.

???This was not the story Henry envisioned coming out of the University of Tennessee. It started off well for Henry in Buffalo. He was named to a Pro Bowl early in his career and looked destined for great things.

???Now he has the chance to be a First Team selection in the Colorado Penal Football League. To be honest, Henry is getting what he deserves. He's deserted numerous women with his children and has refused to support them. Now he's in a position where he can't even provide them with money if he wanted to.

???The days of 1,000-yard seasons seem long gone. Henry now has a better chance at fathering 100 children than getting 100 more carries in the NFL.

???I'm sure Henry's children will turn out to be success stories.




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