For 11 months out of the year, nobody in the universe cares what Spencer and Heidi from The Hills have to say.
Let's make it 12.
Celebrity gossipmongers, and 24-hour news stations are on election overdrive and when news runs out, they turn to celebrities for our entertainment.
And celebrities think it's their duty to have a say in who becomes our next president, offering up endorsements for all of our unfortunate ears to hear.
From Oprah to "Speidi," they have all came out and issued their proclamation explanation whether it be for Sen. Barack Obama, or Sen. John McCain.
But does anyone care? I know I don't.
Here is the list of things I trust celebrity opinions on:
1.) ....
Notice how in that small list I didn't mention presidential endorsements?
Actors such as Sylvester Stallone and Scarlett Johansson have delivered their endorsements to the American people and, incredibly, some are listening.
What purpose do celebrities have telling me whom to vote for?
Especially the D-listers that have been throwing their name into the political ring as of late.
Ralph Macchio, star of The Karate Kid, has officially endorsed Obama.
That's the best Obama can get? From Oprah to Macchio?
Good news for Obama if the Kobra Kai join the Axis of Evil, otherwise Macchio should just go back to working as a Target Store Manager.
Senator McCain has gone with a more down-to-Earth approach when it comes to endorsements.
He's attained such real Americans as Joe the Plumber, Tito the Builder, Arnold Schwarzenegger, alongside Heidi and Spencer from The Hills.
Joe the Plumber? Tito the Builder? Holt the Bastard?
One isn't a plumber, one builds crooked houses and one doesn't have a father.
Nice job McCain.
I have an idea to make these endorsements matter.
How about we take McCain's Norris and have him battle to the death a member of Obama's celebrity brigade?
I'm sure Norris could roundhouse Zach Braff hard enough to make Scrubs funny again.
Or maybe have a "Yo Momma" contest between Obama's Larry David and McCain's Tom Selleck.
David aided in the creation of one of the funniest shows in television history and Selleck was in Mr. Baseball.
See what I'm getting at here?
Celebrity endorsements are stupid. Plain and simple.
In less than 24 hours one of the most important elections in American history will begin (unless Ohio feels like being Ohio).
Instead of relying on the people who sell us soft drinks, Americans need to vote for themselves.
Unless you're Joe the Plumber.


