Necro-Animatory Syndrome is a horrible, heinous and hair-raising disease. But it doesn't have to kill you! Our life writers compiled information from over a thousand survivor accounts to bring you, our faithful readers, the best plans for survival that our government doesn't want to admit that we need.
Clothing
The important thing to remember about NAS is that it is spread by any contact between bodily fluids. Reports from the CDC indicate that the infected like to bite and scratch, so exposed skin is definitely a no-no.
Instead, try rough, tough and loose-fitting clothing like coveralls and bluejeans. Buffalo and the surrounding areas boast an impressive number of outdoor supply stores, from the humble Farmers Supply house to the urban-hippy-centric Eastern Mountain Sports, and these stores are your best bet for outfitting yourself as something other than a snappily-dressed entree. Remember, when it comes to the cut of your jib, survival, not style and sex appeal, is your intent.
It's also important to layer your clothing to provide increased protection. Don't worry about sweating. Fear sweat evaporates quickly, and you can shower after you get away from the infected. Try layering leather on top of denim for a dual layer of tooth-proof protection.
Don't forget your hands, head and feet, either. Nothing ruins your day more than having the Achilles' heel of your outfit lead to a gruesome death. Hoods and helmets are good for these purposes, although for truly epic protection, farming supply stores usually stock leather hoods for those inclined to work with really large power tools. Grab one of these, and a heavy canvas tote bag for food, medical supplies, ammunition, and keepsakes from your fallen friends, and you're all set.
Weapons
At this point, we've all read the report from the CDC and know that when it comes to victims of NAS, destroying or removing the head is the only effective deterrent. Whatever you feel comfortable braining an ex-human with, grab that and go. If you need tips, though, the Internet is a wonderful resource for all things NAS, although they use the politically incorrect term "Zombie." Remember to pick things that will minimize splatter and don't make a lot of noise. The infected may appear dead, but they can hear just fine. If you do have a firearm, don't rely on it too much, as nothing draws the ravenous hordes like a gunshot. Also remember that guns don't kill people, people with guns kill people.
Supplies
Non-Perishable Foods are the order of the day. Canned goods, dried goods -anything that you can stick in a pocket and run with is a good idea. But just because you have to rely on preserved foods doesn't mean you can't have a hot, tasty meal on the run. One advantage of scarcity is hunger, and we all know that if you're hungry you'll eat anything, so experiment! Combine foods that you've never tried together and see what happens. If you survive the coming years, you might come away with amazing recipes you never would have dreamed of.
Grab medical supplies and camping stuff wherever you find it, too. That's a good idea.
Shelter
One thing has been made very clear in the last 48 hours: Duct tape and plastic wrap aren't going to cut it. First of all, if you have a good shelter in the heart of Buffalo, it's not a good shelter. Population density is inversely related to safety: The more people around you, the more potential for infection. Instead, think rural. Farm houses are good. They tend to lock up well, and there is usually enough lumber around to barricade doors and windows with ease.
If you can't make it out of the city, however, look for radiation symbols on the side of official buildings. As we would all know if we were still in the Cold War, these are fallout shelters, ideal for hiding out. If they will take the brunt of a nuclear blast, they can take the claws of the ambulatory dead. Remember, though, that fallout shelters are usually in basements, and basements do not have many convenient exits. The same is true for places high off the ground, so even though it might seem cool to hide out in the top floor of a luxury hotel, don't do it.
We at the Spectrum do hope that these few short lines have been helpful. We know that the coming months will be full of challenges and heartbreak, and many of you won't make it through. Some of you will, though, and we congratulate you in advance. Remember to kill anyone who gets bit.
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Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
