We are a generation of women that want it all: the option to be a stay at home mother, and for our husbands to encourage and support our career endeavors. We want the choice to go to law school, or to get married, and for no one to chastise us for choosing both.
Men should pay for dates, but we demand a say in relationship activities and are offended when we aren't included in the planning process. The choice to keep or not to keep a child is our decision solely, but we expect our man to stand behind our decision and either be there for our child, or to grieve his loss when the decision is made to terminate.
Modern day women take what they consider to be a "feminist" approach in today's relationships with men. Whether it's a boyfriend, friend with benefits, co-worker or just a friend, we assume men will just go along with our whim of the day. So what if we want to trade crude comments with a friend one day, and become offended when someone makes an off-color remark to us the next?
We are taking over through the art of terrorizing. Men are left to guess at what our next impulse will be. This is not feminism.
True modern-day feminists usually offer differing approaches in obtaining equality, but strive to obtain the same goal - a blending of the gender roles so that one might not have greater power than the other. This means not working to overshadow men, but rather, to remain on consistent footing with them. The goal is a better existence for all, not just for ourselves.
What do we accomplish when our efforts become objected at dominating the other gender, rather than coexistence? By attempting to control through ranting and raving, we set ourselves back and cloud the greater picture of feminism.
When feminism first became a significant movement, efforts were geared at allowing women to obtain equality throughout the world: to obtain more rights, to have better protections, and to basic natural rights including education, the right to vote, and the right to work.
Today's women are self-declared feminists without a clue about the true meaning of the movement. If you are a female in college, you have the tools necessary to become equal or even greater in a man's world than a man himself. Lucky you.
Instead, women in Africa live in polygamist marriages, without a say in whom their husband is with or how they'll be protected from HIV infection.
Women in the Middle East have acid thrown on them as punishment for suspicion of no longer being virtuous.
Female fetuses in China are aborted or killed at birth every day because of the lack of value placed on a female child.
And if you're living in the United States, you might think this kind of barbaric discrimination doesn't apply to you, but consider this: if you're ever raped, it's likely your attacker will receive a sentence less than a decade long. That is, if he is convicted at all. Worse off, if you're ever abused by your husband and he is arrested, he can be out of jail in as little as 48 hours and back in your home.
If you think we're equal, you're wrong. Women have great strides to make in achieving equality where it matters.
Rather than embarking on a personal vendetta against every man within arm's reach to show him how "equal" you are, and to yell at him until he sees it too, go out and actually make a difference.
Women who are abused and leave their husbands need help every day getting back on their feet, and sometimes need the encouragement to know they've done the right thing for their children - try volunteering for a local shelter. Current legislation is still years away from providing legal remedies suitable enough for women to feel protected, and from their attackers to be deterred - so get involved in local campaigns to make politicians change their minds.
Making a change isn't difficult. Contact your local politicians about stricter laws to protect women's rights. Or get involved in the fight for women's equality worldwide.
Contact Constance Eve at the Women for Human Rights and Dignity, Inc., at (716) 831-9825 to do more and make a difference in the Buffalo area.
Don't just talk about it - do something.
Photo: Courtesy of SUNY
