Headlines in the news worth griping about, or just poking fun
New electronic voting machine glitch, providing instructions to voters in Vietnamese
"Will Ho Chi Minh be on the ballot?" (JH)
"How do you say 'hanging chads' in Vietnamese?" (MM)
Priest in Foley scandal says they only skinny-dipped in a secluded lake together
"Okay, I got one. 'So there's a priest a little boy naked in a lake...'" (JH)
"That's one hell of a baptism." (RP)
"Oh please, pulling a Michael Jackson is so last week." (RB)
Storm relief efforts slowed due to teens throwing snowballs, rocks and bottles at cleanup crews.
"Nothing says 'community coming together' like a random act of violence." (RP)
"I'm sure teachers appreciate the break." (RB)
"I'll make sure your address is the last one to get power." (RR)
Security steps up this Sunday for dirty bomb threat at seven NFL stadiums.
"ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FRISKING?!" (CC)
"Seven? It'll take at least three to cover the spread." (RP)
In the midst of bitter divorce, Paul McCartney's wife claims that he beats her and has stabbed her with a broken wine glass
"After Lennon took back 'Give Peace a Chance' he must've switched to 'Live and Let Die.'" (RP)
"Wasn't it just yesterday that his troubles seemed so far away?" (JH)
Florida boater attacked by stingray; may suffer same fate as Irwin
"This coverage needs to stop. If the media keeps glorifying those stingrays, they're going to keep doing it." (MM)
"Oh please, death by stingray is so last week." (RB)
"Crikey!" (JH)
Buffalo storm stops thousands from taking SAT
"Bet they're real disappointed." (RR)
"Meh, UB's overcrowded anyway." (RB)
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
