Basketball seating change announced
Due to a petition signed by over 400 students and incessant ridicule by rabid fans, the UB athletics department has announced that they will be relocating student seating for the next men's basketball season.
The students' seats were previously located in the upper halves of three south-side chair-back sections. Warde Manuel, UB athletics director, has decided to change that however, and place all of the students in the orange 300-level sections.
In a press release, Manuel said that this change was made to unite the student fans while pushing them even further from the action. He also ended the statement with a laconic parting shot: "Happy now?"
Spectrum predicts future
The Spectrum predicts that at least three members of ubfan.com will be upset with something in today's issue and make multiple posts about it.
The Spectrum also foresees the distant future and knows that the crazed fans will be upset by lack of coverage of the men's basketball team... during the spring and fall seasons... when they don't play.
J-Mac sighting
High-functioning autistic basketball player, Jason "J-Mac" McElwain, whose heroics dazzled nation last month, was spotted in Alumni Arena over the weekend. He was seen shooting three-pointers with Calvin Cage in the Main Gym.
The team would not confirm the reasoning behind J-Mac's appearance but rumors have been flying throughout Alumni. Some say that he was there to assist Cage in three-point shooting while others claim that head coach Reggie Witherspoon is looking to recruit the headband-wearing gunslinger to replace the void left by Cage.
Gray no more
Many UB athletes bask in the comfort of university-provided gray sweatsuits, but starting immediately, the UB athletics department has revoked all of the apparel sets.
Athletes must turn in their sets to the fourth floor of Alumni Arena by Wednesday afternoon at 2:47 p.m. Failure to do so could result in suspension, seven years of bad luck, and/or a season of losses.
