Staff voices

He was a photo major. Tall, dark, and handsome. He held doors open, he was a superb listener, was almost a straight-A student. He even said, "Bless you" when I sneezed. Within weeks he and I became joined at the hip. We hung out, went to the movies, and did bunch of other things that a normal couple does.

It seemed too good to be true. And oh, how untrue it was.

It wasn't until much later that I realized that my freshman crush and I had a bit more in common than I hoped for. Strangely, he began making comments about guys and what they were wearing. And I, the oblivious one, just assumed he was merely in touch with his "sensitive" side.

Eventually, his stares and comments about other males became too much for my 17-year-old heart to handle.

After a few days, I finally came up with enough courage to pop the question. And to my surprise he said, "Yes." Unfortunately, the big question was: Are you gay?

It took me a while to get over him, and the idea that the only place he'd take pleasure in seeing breasts and legs were on a chicken didn't help anything. Buzz kill.

I find the idea that all good men are gay to be slightly mind-boggling. True, but slightly mind-boggling. It's like a conspiracy against all women. I mean, you have these really great men who possess everything that a woman could ever want in a man, but the only problem is that they don't have the slightest desire to want you back.

This unattainable phenomenon of the "gay boyfriend" is a problem many women have to deal with. It may have something to do with the many great gay men, or the many sub-standard straight men. Most likely, it's a combo of the two. I'm not saying that every gay man is good, but it's the good men that are usually gay.

Women long for many things a gay man can offer. They love to cuddle, to shop, to talk about feelings. They're nicer, often better looking, and sincere. All that's missing is the physical connection only a straight man can provide. Why this curse has befallen on so many straight women is baffling.

Throughout the years, I've heard many stories about good men turning gay or "coming out of the closet." It's almost as if they carry a special trait in their genes that manifests itself as soon as they hit puberty. Magically at this moment, they are blessed with manners, good breath, and serious sex appeal.

The male species, and what a feisty bunch they are, do indeed have the capacity to be good men. However, these characteristics are all the more amplified with gay men. The differences between the two are that the gay man has no ulterior motive, while the straight man does.

Motive is what separates the good from the bad, the gay for the straight. The reason why my freshman crush and I got along so well was because sexually, he was not attracted to me. He had no reason for a hidden objective, and saw no more of me in a romantic way then he did of any woman on the street.

As utopian as this may sound to straight men, women want a man to listen when they speak, to spend time with them when they feel alone, and not just for the sexual privileges that relationships carry with them. But these expectations oftentimes are unfulfilled, even as simple as these needs are.

We want men who can actually remember birthdays, and anniversaries without any forewarning.

These simple demands too frequently go unmet by the straight segment of the male population while gay men always remember to call on birthdays and give hugs without asking.

However, ladies, have no fear. Although straight men seem to lack the knowledge of how a woman is supposed to be treated that doesn't mean that they are incapable of learning. The problem with most women is that we seem to settle. Nothing good in life comes easy; with a little bit of patience and some fine-tuning we too can turn a straight man good.