"'Spoon: Suit-jacket off, basketball jersey on"

Once the UB Men's Basketball season came to an end, fans, teammates and coaches were forced to say goodbye to an influential and talented senior class. The class of 2005, consisting of Mid-American Conference Player of the Year Turner Battle, MAC Sixth Man of the Year Mark Bortz, Daniel "Danny Hustle" Gilbert, and Jason "JB" Bird, made its mark on the MAC and on the hearts of many.

One person in particular was too distraught to just sit back and watch them leave. This person felt that he just had to do something.

Something big and something drastic.

The person: Bulls' head coach Reggie Witherspoon.

While watching the Final Four Saturday night in his home, an idea struck Witherspoon in the form of a small orange basketball that was left on his coffee table.

The basketball was last in the hands of Gilbert on the depressing night that was Selection Sunday, along with a now evaporated mixture of Battle's sweat and even tears, according to some. Remnants of that dreaded night have remained on the coffee table in the Witherspoon household.

Instead of serving as a memento from an unfortunate night as it had for the past weeks, the basketball served as the source of energy to Witherspoon's proverbial light bulb.

"I was sitting there, watching the game, and it struck me," said Witherspoon. "NCAA regulations won't allow the seniors an additional year but regulations won't stop me from taking their place."

Witherspoon immediately called assistant coach Jim Kwitchoff out of the shadows and shared his idea with him.

"When I first received that phone call, I thought it was a prank phone call," said Kwitchoff. "I didn't think he was serious. The next morning at Breakfast Club, when he told the team, I was dumbfounded. I still can't believe it."

Witherspoon stood up in front of his team and shared his decision with them. Calvin Cage sat in shock while Roderick Middleton almost choked on a piece of bacon.

"He was really serious about it," said Middleton. "That scares me. Have you seen his jump shot? I thought I was safe with a starting position next year but now I have some serious competition."

Mario Jordan was worried about a different kind of competition with Witherspoon.

"I'm done. There's no way I'll ever win another best 'fro argument," said Jordan. "His head may be bald and shiny now, but wait until you see what 'Spoon can grow. There goes my senior year."

Battle, however, was sad to find out Witherspoon waited until now to join the team.

"He has such a knack for analyzing an opposing team's game and really pinpointing the exact strategy for success," said Battle. "If he would have been on the court this past year, I think we would have made a better run than the Tar Heels."

Regardless, Witherspoon feels this is the right decision to make.

"As much as I've tried to move on from the thought of the class of 2005 and try to think about my three new seniors, I couldn't," said Witherspoon. "That group is unforgettable and I realized I really need to step up and show them how much they truly meant to the program."

While there is no word on the production of a bobblehead to honor Witherspoon's presence on the court, he plans to pay homage to Battle by wearing his number 11.

When contacted for comment, University at Buffalo Interim Athletic Director Bill Maher, was unable to reply due to distraught depression from a horribly massacred tournament bracket. Jon Fuller, Assistant Athletic Communication Director, spoke on the university's behalf.

"We were definitely astounded to hear the news of Reggie's decision to walk on the team," said Fuller. "We currently are in the process of overlooking the NCAA regulations in regards to this matter. We have also begun to survey our options for a new head coach."

While Fuller wouldn't confirm the names, rumors have it that former Los Angeles Lakers and Chicago Bulls head coach Phil Jackson, former Buffalo women's basketball head coach Cheryl Dozier, and former Spectrum Senior Sports Editor Jim Byrne are looking to apply for the job.