When Student Association treasurer-elect Mazin Kased offered an opposing SA delegate candidate any job he wanted, he was just looking out for the interests of his party. What Kased may have discovered, however, is the best way to solve chronic SA election voter turnout problems - offering jobs to all available voters at UB would ensure high voter turnout for years to come.
This solution solves problems on many fronts. Jobs will encourage many motivated students to get to the polls, increase competition among the student body and get many unemployed students off their futons and contributing to the university community.
Wimpy outsider critics who don't understand what SA's all about may call this "bribery" or "nepotism," but they miss the point - it's okay because all politicians do it. And the E-board would have no problem implementing this tactic, with Kased's valuable experience in recruiting voters from opposition parties.
SA job offers for votes will go far to create a competitive atmosphere surrounding the SA elections that has been lacking since each E-board began handpicking their successors. This time, the most interesting competition won't be among the candidates - it'll be about who will get the best job, post-election. Many students will be jockeying not only for high-paying jobs, but also the sweet stipend that goes to such positions as parliamentarian, assistant treasurer, sign operator, or fiberglass bull painter.
It has long been known that a student needs no actual organizational skills to take those "jobs," and a potential candidate could give that job to the popular, but completely inept, stoner who would deliver the hacky-sack vote. Offering SA jobs to student voters would also allow more students to take advantage of the many perks that come with SA jobs. More students would be able to have SA-sponsored birthday parties and be able to receive SA-sponsored ChrisKwannukah gifts such as coffee mugs and $40 sweatshirts. If the DJ series starts back up, more students would be on the VIP list at the Sphere, or in line to get free tickets to the seasonal galas. Since SA loses money on both events, financial implications are non-existent.
Offering jobs to students also provides an excellent service to the large unemployed population on campus. Ellicott is currently rife with drifters and squatters wasting time and resources on silly pursuits like Madden 2005, with the odd lunatic actually writing a paper or studying. These students would be better served collecting a stipend doing a simple job like producing issues of VISIONS, where these delinquents would be secured in a tiny office, safely hidden where no one would be subject to their inane chatter, much like the current staff.
The Elevation Party has a long history of expanding SA. What better way to fill the new jobs created by rampant expansion than by offering them to the average voter? The program has even been blessed with a leader to see this plan through in Mazin Kased. Mazin's reaching out to Francisco was fair - why not give everyone a chance? Sign us up!
Photo: Courtesy of Matthew Messina, from the RMBERS' Instagram page
