On the road again

I have to make a confession. It's something I'm not proud of, and not many people know this about me. So I guess I'll just write it here to be printed 10,000 times for anyone to pick up for free.

I, Daniel Gvertz, have never gone on Spring Break.

Now, to clarify, there have been many spring break vacations from school for me. However I have never actually gone on Spring Break.

There is one very good reason for my lack of a Spring Break excursion to Daytona Beach or Tijuana or wherever else you kids go these days:

I'm broke as a joke.

"I feel like a jerk asking my parents for money so I can go out to Florida or something for Spring Break," were the sentiments of our News Editor Jennifer Fusco.

Of course, you don't always have to ask your parents for the help. But considering the fact that the Starbucks on campus has taken most of your money at this point, you're either asking your parents for cash or you just have to spend the week at home with your friends from high school who you haven't even thought to call the last three months.

That's obviously an undesirable result.

So what's the alternative, getting down on your knees and begging the parents for some money to spend a vacation away from them?

No! You're a college student. Begging your parents for anything is out of the picture.

There must be a better way. How about making it a pilgrimage?

Yes, that's right. If you get enough people together you don't have to worry that everyone is broke. It would be great - you could head south like ducks in the winter. It would be "The Great, Broke College Student Migration."

This could be a new tradition. Those who wants nothing to do with the SA planned Spring Break trip or who don't have enough money to make any real Spring Break plans. We could all just get in our cars and drive somewhere nice. Camp out under the stars for a week. It's only about a 24 hour drive to Florida if you don't stop. That's nothing too ridiculous when you think about it.

And if this works out, we could all be famous.

Just imagine the news broadcast on the six o'clock news:

"Two hundred and fifty students from the University at Buffalo began a massive pilgrimage to Florida today. At their current speed, it will take them just five days to get to a prime Spring Break spot where they can party, celebrate, and play loud music until their term papers are due. Back to you Bob."

That would be awesome.

Maybe it sounds a little weird, but we could pull this off. Just find some random spot in Florida where we can camp out, someplace close to Daytona Beach. There would be concerts and all sorts of fun stuff to do.

And the best part is, the only things that we would actually have to pay for are food, drink and gas.

So instead of dropping two hundred on an SA-sponsored Spring Break, just start to get down on this road trip with me. I'll plan it for next year. It'll be insane.

Get as many of your friends together as you can and tell them they're only spending $100 for Spring Break, and it will be the best time of their lives.

I know what you're all thinking:

"One hundred dollars for Spring Break? Where are we going? Your mom's basement?"

Actually, no. That would end up costing a little more than $100.

Anyway, the fact is we would all kill for a cheap Spring Break solution, and I've finally found one: Campus-wide road trip. Everyone's invited.

And if we get enough people to go in on this, gas will be cheaper anyway.

So this is my proposition for next year: the first ever, Gvertz-sponsored Spring Break. Everyone on campus is invited, along with everyone else in the area that wants to join. We all get in cars - or our friends' cars - and we drive down to some spot near Daytona Beach, Fla. where we will camp out and partake of all the fun stuff that actual sponsors provide for their Spring Break goers who pay exorbitant amounts of money.

And we can make fun of them, too.

All those people who didn't invite you down to their awesome Spring Break house. Those jerks who didn't want to bring you along to Tijuana for tequila at 2 a.m.

We'll make fun of every person who paid more than they should have for a week of inappropriate behavior and disorderly conduct.

So there you have it, my master plan for my first ever Spring Break pilgrimage. We can make it happen. I've seen the light. I am ready to lead the entire UB community to the Promised Land.

e-mail: DSGvertz@buffalo.edu