I am by no means a normal person. I have long abandoned FM radio and, for the most part, mainstream media. I don't think I am better than anyone else; I just follow a different path. I like treading my own ground, and I don't really understand a lot about "normal people."
A perfect example is someone who emblazons their Jeep's windshield with the phrase, "It's a Jeep thing, you wouldn't understand." They are that much more intelligent than I am, because there must be something that Jeep owners can comprehend far easier than I can.
Throw the "Jeep thing" into a bin with that CGI dancing baby, the word "cummerbund," those "Support Your Troops" magnets on the back of cars, professional wrestling, Yankee Fever, the presidency of James K. Polk and the 69 Boyz's "Tootsie Roll."
I'm just not normal.
That's why this Spectrum Arts and Life Survey is the survey to end all surveys for you, the readers of the Spectrum. Imagine how much better your 11 o'clock hour is going to be reading about something you really care about instead of the latest CD you don't care about because we have different taste.
How cool is that?
John Stamos cool.
***
Dear Major League Baseball,
That whole steroid problem looks a whole lot more serious when the 1996 National League MVP, and admitted steroid user, Ken Caminiti dies of a heart attack at age 41.
The National Football League learned from Lyle Alzado. Let's hope you do the same.
Signed,
Modern Science.
***
At least while the Bills try and rebound from an 0-4 start, we can get hyped about the Sabres starting their season Friday night in Columbus. Oh, wait.
At least the Bisons won the Governor's Cup.
***
This whole "ganging up on the Bills" thing simply isn't cool. Yes, they are winless and yes, they have made some terrible plays. But their remaining schedule is about as difficult as a task as Kevin "Ug" Lee getting Eddie C. "Donkeylips" Gelfen to eat an extra sandwich at break on "Salute Your Shorts."
***
Speaking of "Salute Your Shorts," it really was a great starting point for a lot of great careers. The cast's "Where Are They Now?" story reads like an Oscar nominee rundown.
The kid who played Donkeylips, Michael Bower, played a cult member wrapped in bubble paper in "Dude, Where's My Car?" Danny Cooksey, aka Bobby Budnick has had an overwhelmingly successful career as the voice of a myriad of video game and cartoon characters.
What's with these great child actors having absolutely no post-Nickelodeon glory careers? I mean, sure, Blake "Ronnie Pinsky" Soper did move on to play a bully on Boy Meets World and "Kid With Knife" in 1996's "Driven," but how can the Disney Channel continue to pump out big names like Britney Spears, Hilary Duff and Justin Timberlake while Nickelodeon just covers itself in Alanis Morrisette goo?
Yeah, slow entertainment news week.
***
In the great scheme of things, Omar Gooding has had a pretty good career.
Photo: Courtesy of Laron Fomby
