Due to the editors' interest in leaving the office early, the following editorial shall not rely on research and facts. Furthermore, it shall combine several disparate issues together, as opposed to providing a detailed analysis of one particular topic. The Spectrum maintains this method is effective since it delivers bite-size, digestible opinions the entire student body can understand.
Retraction - Naked Women Vital For Buffalo's Economic Future: On March 18, 2002, The Spectrum wrote an editorial protesting against James Hellerer's proposal to build an upscale strip club in downtown Buffalo. We now believe that such a stance is erroneous, and was the result of the fact that Editor in Chief Emily Dalton Smith was actually under the influence, and Senior Editorial Editor Michael Lucinski bumped his head on a doorway that day.
The Spectrum now firmly believes that a strip club is an absolute necessity to revive Buffalo's desolate downtown district. This business should function as the linchpin to foster the development of an affordable, but high-quality escort service, complete with rental Cadillac Escalades. That way, even white boys from Amherst can thug it like Ludacris.
Furthermore, UB must step up and actively pursue a partnership with the adult entertainment industry in Buffalo to re-establish its dedication to the Queen City. One ideal way to reaffirm these ties is to co-sponsor these activities with UB students since many have already trained at Main Street bars.
Racism in the SA: While browsing the Web site of the Student Association in an attempt to find more reasons to make fun of the organization, it dawned on The Spectrum that the SA is guilty of a major equal rights violation.
The Web site contains listings for clubs with people of various ethnic and racial backgrounds. For instance, there is the Black Student Union, the Organization of Arab Students, and the Asian American Student Union.
But the question that begs to be asked is how come the SA does not offer most white students a club for their own racial identity? Why is there no White Student Union?
White students on campus certainly stand to benefit from the creation of a club that caters to their needs. Various white undergraduates have told us of the difficulties of living with pasty skin that made them look like "gringos on the beaches of Cancun" during spring break. Others have voiced interest in setting up NASCAR nights.
The fact that it's incumbent on the students, and not the SA, to set up clubs is beside the point. There will be a white student protest in front of the SA office, 350 Student Union, today at noon. No justice, no peace.
Spectrum editorial editor needs a new car: Although this issue bears absolutely no relevance to the student body, let it be known that a certain editor is tired of driving his mom's ugly, red, Chrysler minivan.
It is absolutely embarrassing, and this editor is making an idiot of himself. Every morning he drives to UB with the station turned to 93.7 WBLK on high volume. He tries to act like a pimp, but many pedestrians think he's ill.
Please donate a brand new Escalade to The Spectrum.
