The world we live in is far different than that our parents grew up in. This is the technological age, an era of video games, car starters and tons of other inventions that supposedly have made our lives better. But have they really made our days any easier? Do we sleep better at night knowing tomorrow's itinerary has already been mapped out by our Palm handheld organizers?
No, these gadgets and gizmos only complicate our daily lives. Unfortunately, most of us are blinded by the flashing lights and annoying beeps these modern toys emit; the world has come under their spell. If we are not careful, the dominance of these machines may be inevitable, and even more frighteningly, irreversible.
Since starting school here, I've noticed a large number of mutants lurking around campus. This strange new breed of humans may appear quite normal but can be distinguished by the very unnatural growths protruding from their skulls. The growths seem to vary in color and size and can be removed by their host in case of emergencies.
Experts, well aware of this rapidly spreading disease, have now recognized these foreign growths as cell phones. Faithful companion to many, cell phones have found their place in society as an item as necessary to many people as their underwear. To the majority of cell phone junkies (you know who you are), a day without their precious piece of plastic will create severe withdrawal symptoms such as incoherently muttering to no one in particular, irritability, and a loss of feeling in either their left or right ears.
The most common withdrawal symptom is the illusion that someone important is trying to get in touch with them at all times of the day. Getting their daily cell-phone fix does not come at a cheap price either. Most plans only give you thousands upon thousands of free minutes to talk on the phone.
As of Nov. 1, the use of cell phones while driving is illegal in New York. This will probably result in hordes of disoriented drivers on the road, so distraught at the idea of having both hands on the wheel at one time that they will have trouble re-adjusting to the basic motions involved in operating a motor vehicle. I'd be extra cautious while driving during these trying times for Cellphonenites, at least while they are becoming acclimated to a whole new driving experience.
This recent law has brought me new hope that some day cell phones will be outlawed in all public places. Of course this would mean people would have to relearn the art of eye contact and holding conversations with real life people but I have faith that in time it would come.
Now winter is creeping up on us. Soon cell phone addicts all over the city who suffer from bad reception will be seen standing under door ways, fending off the harsh elements along with our other outcasts: the smokers.
By no means am I anti-progress; I'm not asking you to move to the North Country and become Amish. I'm just trying to draw attention to a new epidemic that is threatening to ruin our world as we now know it.
So for all of you who love your cell phones (seriously, all of you buying accessories for your accessory are wasting money) remember this: you may think you are staying "in touch" but this is not true, turn off your phones (two ways, Palms, talking watches, etc.) and step back into the real world for a moment.
You may find that human contact is not half as bad as you thought it was.
