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Monday, June 24, 2024
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Summer Fest 2010 acts announced

Just days after announcing their stellar lineup for Spring Fest, the Student Association is ready to unleash a brand new event. It is sure to put both Spring and Fall Fest to shame.
After weeks of closed door meetings, hundreds of thousands of dollars spent, and possibly one or two awkward favors, SA is proud to present, for the first time ever, Summer Fest 2010.
In continuing such long-running traditions as the other Fests, a concert will be held during the titular season for students attending summer courses. Summer Fest grew out of a need for an event for students taking these classes.
"I would like this to be my swan song," said SA President Ernesto Alvarado, "my final gift to the students."
Summer Fest will boast the longest lineup of stars in UB Fest history. Plans have set the concert to be two-day festival. Acts range from rock to hip hop and even some comedy.
Headlining the first day will be all American Psycho enthusiasts' favorite band, Huey Lewis and the News, with legendary hip hop group Kid 'N Play.
Joining the headliners will be a multitude of music gems, including Aaron Carter, everyone's favorite Internet interruption Rick Astley, the mariachi band from my cousin Steve's wedding, Dio, and that dude who sings "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night." Classic new wave band Flock of Seagulls is still in contract talks.
Opening the show will be superstar comedian Sinbad.
The real surprise came when SA announced who will headline the second day. Will Smith, who is determined to get back to his roots with the concert, will headline the final day of the musical festival.
Smith will reteam with his old DJ, Jazzy Jeff, and cover Willennium in its entirety. Smith, though, was quite mum with his involvement in the concert.
"Aw, hell no," Smith said when asked whether he would like to comment about his involvement with Summer Fest.
Summer Fest's lineup seems to fall on the expensive side with its many A-list acts. Alvarado was quick to dispel any concerns.
"The books show that we didn't get spend-crazy with the event, no matter how many number and budget discrepancies there are," Alvarado said. "And if you keep asking, you can find out where we hid the last three students that were looking for answers."
Alvarado then said that he had left his oven on, jumped into in his car and sped off.
For students who will be at the school beyond May, they are more than happy over the news of the concert.
"There was nothing for us to do," said Bernard Gert, a junior arts and crafts major. "I mean absolutely nothing. Sometimes, I would just sit in my room for days and just cry because I was so bored."
Others are hoping that the event will keep them safe due to the crime that arises out of boredom.
"It got quite dangerous around here in the summer," said Ronnie McCoy, a sophomore Canadian history major. "People started fight clubs, students formed singing and dancing gangs, and I think at least one of the engineering majors built a robot."
Summer Fest will be held July 15 at Baird Point. Admission will be free to all undergraduates, while tickets will be $3.50 for the general public. Senior citizens will get a 50 percent discount.


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