Some time ago, down a river in Texas, sex educator and comedian Kelly Stone overheard a couple arguing.
"Your problem is you've gained weight and lost confidence in yourself," the wife said to her husband.
Being a sex educator, Stone couldn't help but wonder if this was an argument about their sex life, so she chimed in with her two cents.
The wife, after having read the popular novel 50 Shades of Grey, was inspired to sexually try new things. The husband, however, did not feel comfortable. Stone then explained it is important to set your expectations when it comes to sex and we all have to respect those boundaries. The couple thanked her for her help and Stone drifted away down the river.
On Wednesday night, Stone came to UB to perform her educational comedy show, GREYed expectations. The show dealt openly with issues concerned with sexual consent and communication. Though the show was meant to be funny, it mostly dealt with matters of sex education.
"I like to think of it [the show] as "edutating," Stone said. "The combination of educating people about sex while also entertaining them."
The show dealt with a variety of scenarios in which Stone described, "We all have the right to set our own expectations when it comes to sex."
The show was a multi-media event, mixing casual conversation about Stone's own sex life with an educational lecture and funny videos Stone has collected from YouTube.
One video showed two women and two men, all respectively retelling how their dates went from the night before. The men discuss over a barbeque, while the women talk during a run in the park. Making fun of the ambiguity of subjectivity, each point of view had a different take on how the dates went for the women than from the men.
"I was a little surprised by the show, actually," said junior business management major Caleb Vaughn. "I thought the show was going to talk about sexual safety as in protection from STDs and things like that, but this show actually talked about physical safety, like while actually having sex. It was a lot more open - making sure communication is there before, during, and after sex. I liked that."
What Stone pointed out was that at no point in the video do the couples discuss their expectations with one another.
"The one woman was upset because the sex only lasted for a minute, without any foreplay," Stone said. "Had she been up front, she wouldn't have been so disappointed. The same goes for the other couple, the guy wouldn't have been stuck with the bill if he would have said upfront we're going to split it."
Another interesting part of the show was when Stone invited four students from the audience up to the stage - two boys and two girls, to play a quick game of soccer - once with co-ed teams and the other boys versus girls.
Stone pointed out how the lines of communication were different for each pairing of teams. When teams were co-ed, there was very little communication between team members - just focus on making it to the goal. With boys versus girls, there was a lot more discussion.
Stone would reiterate throughout the show the importance of communication between sexual couples.
"It's OK to say, 'Hey, I can't get it up right now; perhaps we shouldn't have sex right now,'" Stone said. "Or if you're into something like S&M, you don't want to be put in a situation where someone is choking you even though you were never asked."
Stone later said there are still some things that even comedy still can't necessarily help to talk about, like jokes about abortion or leaking.
"I thought the show was funny and informative," said Erica Buckhanan, a junior film studies major. "I liked the idea of communicating before sex, like what I like and what I don't like upfront. These are tips I'll definitely share with my friends."
Students with questions about sex education or Kelly Stone's show can visit SBI Health Education at 341 Student Union.
Email: arts@ubspectrum.com
