So you're at a bar. You see a cutie across the way, and it hits you. You want her, you want to sweet talk her, you want to make her laugh, and maybe you want to make-out with her – or something a little more X-rated.
But whoa there! Slow your roll. Before you saunter over there with your swagger walk, there are some things that you should know, lest you make a fool out of yourself in such a public arena.
There are some simple do's and do not's in picking up girls at a bar.
DO:Make sure the girl you're trying to approach does not have a boyfriend.
It's an obvious thing, really. When a girl is standing next to another guy, it could just be her friend, or it could be her overprotective, jealous boyfriend who does not appreciate his girlfriend getting hit on right in front of him. You could very well be the person getting hit on in this scenario. Right in the face.
Or another similar scenario: if the girl says she has a boyfriend but there's no boy in sight, take the hint. She's just not into you. Move on – find a girl that is.
DON'T:Tell a girl that you find her attractive because of a childhood fetish.
Of course, this all depends on circumstance. What I'm referring to is more for those days when people are in costume – Halloween, or maybe if you go to ComiCon. A scenario: you see a girl is dressed as, let's say, a Pokémon or any animalistic cartoon character. Do not, I repeat, do not ask her: "is it weird I find you incredibly attractive because of a childhood fantasy of mine?"
I'll answer for her: yes. It's pretty weird and it's one of those anti-panty droppers.
DO:Be upfront.
It could be that you're looking for a casual hookup, and that's your prerogative. That's not to say you should go up to a girl and say: "hey, I want to have sex with you and never call you after." Just don't pretend like you're after something you're not, because you could get a girl's hopes up just to knock 'em down.
Don't be a Barney Stinson and pretend you're searching for that white picket fence and a beautiful wife to share it with. It could be that the girl you're trying to impress isn't looking for anything serious either. But if she is, don't pretend like you are, too. Move on to another girl that has the same intentions as you.
DON'T:Come on too strong.
Ever seen Superbad? When Jules uses the scratch your back cliché, remember how Seth responds: "funny thing about my back, Jules: is it's located on my cock." Mentioning your private parts in the first 15 minutes of a conversation isn't smart. You might be thinking that and it's possible you can't get the thought out of your head, but do yourself a favor and don't prematurely ejaculate the response.
You also don't want to seem overeager. Girls want your attention, but they don't want you to follow them around like a puppy dog all night. Let her know that you have options, but you choose her. Flatter her; don't smother her.
DO:Be confident.
It's almost as if girls can smell insecurity; guys probably can too for that matter. It's easy to be nervous when approaching a stranger in any circumstance, but if you really want to talk to her, exude confidence, charisma, and charm. Those three things go a long way.
DON'T:Pretend you know her from somewhere.
"Hey, are you in my Comm. class?" Come on guys, is that the best you've got? They know you aren't in their class; they know you're using a line. If you want to start a conversation with a girl, just be honest.
You want to make a good first impression, because at a bar, that's almost the only thing you're going to get.
DON'T:Use clichés.
Going up to a girl and saying she has beautiful eyes is just such a common pick up technique. It does not get girls going after the 1,000th time. But if you are going to use this line, make sure you know her eye color. Don't specify a color, especially at a bar where it's dark, because you could very well be wrong. "You have the most beautiful green eyes." Then the girl storms off, maybe throws a drink in your face, because her eyes are brown. There go your chances, genius.
DO:Be yourself.
Be charming, be funny, but most of all, be yourself. Don't try to put on a front, and don't say things or do things that you wouldn't normally do because girls can usually tell when you're not.
Email: lyzi.white@ubspectrum.com
