There are still some moviegoers, individuals best characterized as "simple," that shout out loud, "Oh, that could never really happen," during James Bond films.
The screening for "Die Another Day," the 20th Bond film in the series, was no exception. From the spectacular destruction of Dr. No's island facility in the first movie to 1999's portrayal of Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist in "The World is Not Enough," the Bond dynasty has excelled at delivering implausible scenarios to the screen.
Watching Bond is like reading Maxim, only classier. Hot babes (Halle Berry), hot sex (with Halle Berry), hot cars (an Aston Martin) and comparatively cool technology (an invisible Aston Martin) absorb the audience into "The Man Show" version of paradise.
But it's fantasy. Just as Maxim readers don't score by following the sex advice, secret agents generally don't survive death-defying plunges. But there's no cause to complain.
"Die Another Day" doesn't fail to surprise its audience again with other whacked- out action scenarios, and there's never a point where a viewer will be irritated, rather than amused, by action sequences, like the car chase up a hotel entirely made of ice.
But as usual, there is a story that accounts for the chases and explosions. Bond (Pierce Brosnan in his fourth outing) is tailing Gustav Graves (Tobey Stephens), a mysterious, wealthy diamond tycoon, and Zao (Rick Yune), a renegade North Korean agent. The two are connected in a scheme that will reunite the Korean peninsula under the evil, evil control of the North.
The ploy centers on Icarus, a satellite that reflects and intensifies the sun's rays. As one of the more outlandish, and therefore cooler, doomsday devices in the Bond series, Icarus has the power to scorch and tear apart buildings and minefields in the De-militarized Zone - but apparently, it's not powerful enough to obliterate the airplane in which our hero is trapped.
Someone has to hand it to the writers this time for going global with villainy. As if inspired by the President George W. Bush's reference to the axis of evil, the Korean contingent is particularly formidable, and a welcome change to the dull, white-bread villains that have peppered Brosnan's Bond movies.
Zao's diamond-encrusted face is menacing enough, but as the film's main henchman, he pursues Agent 007 with dogged intensity. Think Jet Li, but meaner. As Colonel Moon, Will Yun Lee even manages to slip out a few cutting lines about collective security: "I know all about the U.N. I attended Oxford and Harvard. I majored in Western hypocrisy."
The heroes, in fact, are tame by comparison. Brosnan, with his charming, classy swagger, has never had a problem adopting the Bond persona since his appearance in "Goldeneye." In "Die Another Day," it's perfect to a fault. Playing Bond is too easy for Brosnan. There are even more double entendres than usual, which makes Bond rather forgettable in his 20th incarnation.
Not that the writers didn't try. In a twist, the usually invincible Bond is actually captured and tortured for 14 months in North Korea. Instead of a clean-shaven, "shaken, not stirred" British gent, Bond appears haggard and unkempt. But it's far too short; the entire sequence is abridged at the beginning of the film.
Much publicity has been devoted to Halle Berry's appearance as the latest Bond babe, but she's really nothing much to speak of. In all honesty, Beyonce Knowles, who starred as Foxy Cleopatra in this summer's Bond parody "Austin Powers 3: Goldmember," could have easily played Berry's role as National Security Agent Jinx in "Die Another Day." For such a strong character, Bond has to rescue her an awful lot. Berry, an Academy Award-winner, easily delivers kick-butt, stock lines like "Your mama!"
Beyond that, there's simply nothing else to see, unless you count her famous, sexy homage to Ursula Andress in "Dr. No," when she emerges from the sea in a bikini. For the franchise's 40th anniversary, Director Lee Tamahori included references to earlier Bond films. But like Berry's reprisal of Andress, most are superficial and inadvertently reveal what was better about the old films.
For example, one of "Goldfinger's" most memorable moments occurred when Bond skillfully talked his way out of being split in half by a laser beam. In "Die Another Day," Jinx also has a near-death experience with a similar beam, but escapes merely by screaming and screaming until Bond saves her.
Everything is simply too easy, even for Bond. Except for one intense fencing scene, Bond is heavily reliant on gadgets and dumb luck. And while it never took too long for the babes to fall for him, in "Die Another Day," a few lines and the foreplay is over, whereas in "Goldfinger," Bond had to have real conversations and toss Pussy Galore around a bit before he could sleep with her.
Brosnan and Berry make an attractive couple with magnetic personalities, but their relationship lacks chemistry. Brosnan's brief conversation with Graves's fencing instructor, Verity, played by Madonna in a dominatrix outfit, offers more stimulating dialogue.
Verity: "I see you handle your weapon well."
Bond: "I've been known to keep my tip up."
But "Die Another Day's" shortcomings are not noticeable, nor do they detract from the film's entertainment value. To see how bad other action films are in comparison, watch an obese Steven Seagal "fight" in "Half Past Dead."
Tamahori direction is fast paced; moving easily from hand-to-hand combat to weapon melees to vehicular chases, and he combines it together like tossed salad. How about a fistfight, with flamethrowers and tank busters, on an out-of-control hovercraft?
"Die Another Day" won't live another hour in a moviegoer's mind after leaving the local cineplex, but it's not as if the invisible car and outer space death ray warrant contemplation. Remember, people, this is supposed to be fun.
