"Queen of the Damned" is the last film that will ever feature the late R&B singer Aaliyah. It is unfortunate that her final credits have to be associated with such a lousy movie.
Not surprisingly, this adaptation of Anne Rice's third novel from her Vampire Chronicles series made the most money at the box office last weekend, but the majority of its audience probably walked out disappointed. The movie trailer must have fooled a lot of people into believing these two assumptions: first, that Aaliyah is the main character, and is on screen most of the time, and second, "Queen of the Damned" is a kinetic, action flick like TV's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," or "Blade," Wesley Snipe's awesome, bloody mess.
Instead, our lame hero in "Queen of the Damned" is the vampire Lestat de Lioncourt (Stuart Townsend), who makes his second movie appearance following 1994's brilliant "Interview with the Vampire," or as one of my female colleagues calls it, "Interview with the Hot Guys."
Suffice to say, Townsend can't fill the big shoes of Tom Cruise, who gave a performance nothing short of amazing. Cruise's particular depiction embraced the subtleties of Lestat's character as a sinister, but sad, monster.
Don't expect anything similar out of Townsend. While it's true he has to wade through Scott Abbott's uninspired script, Townsend lacks any of the charm of Cruise's previous performance. Instead, Townsend's Lestat, with his strange, modern-day Transylvanian accent, will remind you more of Fabio. He's an icky vampire, who has as much appeal as a greasy pimp. It's not an awful performance, but it provokes enough disinterest for the audience to not give a crap about what happens to him. The rest of the story suffers simply because you don't like Lestat.
The story itself isn't hard to follow, and you don't need to read Rice's novel to understand what is going on. But the power of "Queen of the Damned" compels you to not care either way. The flaw really isn't in the story itself (suck some blood, save the world, get the girl), but in its overall presentation. You get the feeling that director Michael Rymer didn't really know how to adapt all of the intricacies of the novel to the big screen.
The first hour of the movie is crammed in with a lot of unexciting action that suffers from a lack of focus. Lestat wakes up from a 200-year nap and instantly becomes the frontman of Forsaken, a Goth band that, under his leadership, instantly hits stardom. The movie plays briefly with the whole campy novelty of a band led by a vampire, complete with fake Rolling Stone magazines with Lestat on the cover, and an MTV News brief anchored by Serena Altschul.
But "Queen of the Damned" is more interested in presenting a character study of Lestat. Almost as quickly as he rises to fame, the movie immediately shifts gears and rambles into a flashback about the origins of our boring protagonist. Lestat officially becomes undead in the 1700s when he tastes the blood of the vampire Marius (Vincent Perez), who acts as his mentor. The reason why Marius takes on Lestat as his apprentice is not fully fleshed out. One possible reason is that it's out of some homoerotic attraction; when Marius first drinks from Lestat, the sensuous way he bites his neck lets the audience know that his blood isn't the only thing he wants to taste.
Even more unusual is Lestat's love interest, Jesse Reeves (Marguerite Moreau). As a human, her love for Lestat comes off as one messed up fetish. Rymer probably wants you to take her attraction seriously, but how do you react to a girl who cuts a scar on her breast just so a vampire can feed from it?
If each of these episodes were handled individually, Rymer could have weaved a tale interesting in its own right. Instead, he tosses all of this information in one hour, with little connection between scenes.
By the time Aaliyah actually makes her grand entrance on the screen, the audience is aching for some good old-fashion violence. As the evil goddess Akasha, Aaliyah literally lights up the movie, starting all of her enemies on fire. The sparse moments she is actually on the screen puts some desperately needed fun back into the movie.
Aaliyah, of course, has a way of drawing attention to herself. She doesn't walk; she gyrates, as if she's starring in one of her music videos. And that skimpy, armored breastplate you see her wearing in the movie poster? That is the outfit she has on throughout the entire movie.
Which only causes her subsequent absence in later scenes of the film to be more disappointing. Unfortunately, the last performance of her life doesn't fully showcase her acting ability, so much as her body. If you want to see her truly act, go rent "Romeo Must Die." Also, if her voice sounds unusual, part of the reason is that her brother, Rashad Haughton, actually dubs over a portion of it, since Aaliyah died before post-production editing.
Akasha, who wants to marry Lestat and kill all the humans and vampires of the world, resurrects herself from the dead because Lestat's music is so powerful. Seriously. If Lestat's singing voice sounds familiar, that's probably because the actual vocals are provided by Jonathan Davis, lead singer of Korn. There's an underlying theme here that suggests that angry, white boy music has the power to destroy the world.
As the movie degenerates to its end, you almost hope Akasha succeeds in her mission. But even she can't save this film. "Queen of the Damned" is basically an expensive display of disappointment. Scenes that promise action deteriorate into brief and boring special effects. Scenes intent on presenting thoughtful character development create unintended laughter.
If you are still compelled to check out Aaliyah, leave after she rips out the heart of one of the vampires. Because if you stay any longer, you might feel the same way too.
