September 2016 movie guide
Upcoming films to be released this September
September brings us back to school but also back to the theatre as studios start to roll out the first of their Oscar bait along with the last of the summer crowd-pleasers.
Yoga Hosers (2016)
Release Date: Sept. 2
Kevin Smith has taken a strange career turn. The writer/director went from the Sundance darling who made films like Clerks and Chasing Amy to the guy in the loud hockey jersey making movies about men being turned into walruses (Tusk) based on anecdotes from his podcast Smodcast.
Inspired by a bit on his podcast, Yoga Hosers stars Johnny Depp as Guy LaPointe along with his daughter Lily-Rose Depp and Smith’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith, reprising their roles from the aforementioned Tusk – it is literally a movie about a man being turned into a walrus, that was not a joke.
The plot focuses on the two girls, who work in a Canadian convenience store, as they battle an awakened evil taking the shape of Bratzis, sausage links who are also supporters of Adolf Hitler. With the help of LaPointe, the girls will attempt to battle bratwursts and get to the big party on time. Priorities.
Release Date: Sept. 9
Taking a break from talking to chairs and calling the current generation of kids “p*ssies” in Esquire, Clint Eastwood found some time to direct a feature film.
Starring Tom Hanks as the titular pilot, Sully tells the story of Chesley Sullenberger, a U.S. Airways pilot who successfully landed a jet full of 155 people in the Hudson River after a tragic run in with some geese. Aaron Eckhart co-stars as Sullenberger’s first officer along with television alumna Anna Gunn.
Say what you want about Eastwood’s public persona, but the man knows how to direct a picture and this story of a single man stepping up to the plate to do what is necessary to save the day is right in Eastwood’s wheelhouse.
Release Date: Sept. 16
Another prestige film by a veteran director, Oliver Stone’s Snowden tells the true story of Edward Snowden, a computer professional who leaked classified government information from the National Security Agency to The Guardian in 2013.
Joseph Gordon Levitt plays the devious Snowden, leading a pretty stellar cast. Shailene Woodley is stepping into more of an adult role than she is typically recognized for as Snowden's girlfriend Lindsay Mills.
It will be nice to see Woodley step out of her recent domain of young adult book adaptations, such as The Fault in Our Stars and the Divergent series. Rounding out the cast are such talents as Timothy Olyphant, Melissa Leo and Zachary Quinto.
The Magnificent Seven
Release Date: Sept. 23
Director Antoine Fuqua gives us a remake of the 1960 classic The Magnificent Seven, which itself is a remake of the 1954 Japanese film Seven Samurai.
In a bid to escape the clutches of industrialist Bartholomew Bogue (Peter Sarsgaard) residents of Rose Krick hire seven bounty hunters led by Sam Chisolm (Denzel Washington) to protect their homes and help prepare them for the inevitable confrontation with Bogue’s men.
Washington isn’t the only big name in this all-star cast, which boasts last summer’s favorite leading man Chris Pratt as Josh Faraday, a gambler with a knack for explosives, and fellow Marvel alumnus Vincent D’Onofrio as the tracker Jack Horne. The feature sees Fuqua reunited with both of his lead actors, whom he directed in 2001’s Training Day, as Washington teams up with co-star Ethan Hawke as the sharpshooter charmingly named Goodnight Robicheaux.
Release Date: Sept. 23
Nicholas Stoller makes his animated directorial debut with Storks after a string of hit live-action comedies: Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Get Him to the Greek, Neighbors, and Neighbors 2.
Andy Samberg stars as Junior, Cornerstore.com’s top delivery stork who accidentally gets saddled with a package which the storks have not handled in years: a baby girl. Junior and his human friend Tulip (Katie Crown) must deliver the child before their boss Hunter (Kelsey Grammer) finds out.
Despite looking like the standard animated kiddie-fare, this movie has a talented director and a hilarious cast. Joining Samberg and Grammer are talents such as Ty Burrell, Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele and the always-charming Jennifer Aniston, who has shown her comedy chops on multiple occasions.
Release Date: Sept. 30
Masterminds is an appropriately titled film coming from director Jared Hess, the mastermind behind cinematic classics such as Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre. Masterminds tells the true story of a1997 robbery in which vault manager David Scott Ghantt (Zach Galifianakis) and his married girlfriend Kelly Campbell (Kristen Wiig) stole $17.3 million in cash from the Loomis, Fargo & Co. regional office.
Owen Wilson plays Steve Chambers, the “brains” of the operation. Rounding out the cast are professional funny people Jason Sudeikis, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones and Ken Marino.
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Release Date: Sept. 30
Asa Butterfield stars alongside Eva Green in this adaptation of the young adult novel of the same name about a school for children with superpowers – think X-Men with a dark fantasy, Tim Burton (who directs the flick) twist.
After his grandfather dies, Jake Portman (Butterfield) discovers the school led by the strict Miss Peregrine (Green) and finds himself watching over the eponymous children in the midst of a war with dark forces called “Wights,” led by Samuel L. Jackson as the mysterious Mr. Barron.