A Spotify playlist for getting squeaky clean
Spring has arrived in the Queen City, which means Buffalo has traded snow banks for mud pits. Whether you enjoy the rainy season or not, there’s one place you always want water to fall – your bathroom. May flowers aren’t here yet, but at least you can smell like one by jamming out in an April shower (baths are cool, too).
“Warm Water” – Banks
Spring Fest-featured artist Banks sings about falling in love – with her shower, obviously. The muted synth, soft bass and sweet vocals can only be enhanced by the sound of falling water colliding with ceramic. Turn on the hot water, blast this chill trip-hop tune and have a love affair with hygiene.
“Dance Yrself Clean” – LCD Soundsystem
Once you’ve actually gotten into the shower, the party can begin. This track from James Murphy’s alternative electronica project starts out soft and dampened then gives you time to settle into the flow of your shower, eventually picking up with catchy drums and pronounced synth perfect for your bathroom dance party. Just please be careful not to slip and fall – being clean is fun, but having a bruised booty isn’t.
“Dirt Off Your Shoulder” – Jay-Z
You can try to dance yourself clean, but actually washing yourself with soap is important, too. Though vibing to this classic rap track might be distracting, make sure you don’t neglect any areas. Get that literal dirt off your shoulder. Hopefully, Jay-Z won’t be mad at us for using Spotify instead of Tidal.
“Come Clean” – Hilary Duff
Whether you know her as Lizzie McGuire or Cadet Kelly, we know you’ve definitely jammed to Hilary Duff’s early ’00s pop hits. “Let’s go back / Back to the beginning,” you sing at the top of your lungs. Your roommates would be mad at you if it were any other song, but this time they’re singing along outside the bathroom door. They’re reminiscing, and you’re literally coming clean. Ahh, soap and nostalgia.
“Chamber of Reflection” – Mac Demarco
“Spend some time away / Getting ready for the day / You’re born again.” There’s no way this song isn’t about showering. We all know that point during a shower when you forget what you’re doing and drift off into thought, imagining impossible scenarios and thinking about your life thus far. Sometimes the best ideas and most jarring existential crises come to us in the shower, and this slow, trippy song is the perfect soundtrack for just that.
“Bathtub” – The Front Bottoms
The Front Bottoms are every pop punk kid’s favorite alt-punk band – and they’re terrible at taking showers. Frontman Brian Sella sings about washing his hair with soap and sitting in the shower, scrubbing himself hard enough to induce bleeding. Shampoo is a lovely product you can purchase for as little as $0.99 and leaves your hair much nicer than bar soap ever could. Sitting in the shower is fine, if you’re about that life, but please be gentle. You can be clean without actually removing your skin.
“Fresh” – Daft Punk
You’ve danced, you’ve sung, you’ve washed your body, you’ve washed your hair and you’ve gone into an existential downward spiral. Though you’re finally clean, take a few minutes to rinse yourself off and reflect on your shower experience. Maybe even drift off into another daydream. Think about this: Do the guys from Daft Punk take off their robot helmets to shower?
“Bathwater” – No Doubt
Once you’ve stepped out of your shower or bathtub, make sure you leave the holy space in decent condition for the next person. Drain the tub, get rid of any clumps of hair, etc. “I still love to wash in your old bathwater,” sings Gwen Stefani. That’s gross. I know that bath bomb made your water a really cool glittery purple, but saving it just won’t work. Clean up now so you can start fresh again next time.
“So Fresh, So Clean” – Outkast
You’re fresh, you’re clean and now it’s time to get dressed. Put on some lotion, brush your teeth and put on your favorite outfit. “Ain’t nobody dope as me,” sing hip-hop duo Outkast. You’re the most hygienic person on the planet. Nobody can stop you now.
“Keep it Clean” – Camera Obscura
Though this may have been the best shower you’ve ever had, its effects won’t last forever. Like Scottish indie-pop band Camera Obscura says, you have to keep it clean. Make sure you keep showering at least every couple of days – your mom and the guy you sit next to on the bus will thank you.
Grace Trimper is a staff writer and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org