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Saturday, May 25, 2024
The independent student publication of The University at Buffalo, since 1950

Pant size, never heard of her

We love our skinny legends and our curvy queens, but also the girls who fall in between

*This column contains sensitive content that may be triggering to readers. 

I almost passed out in the shower three days into my keto diet.

I had a sore throat, nausea and a fever leading up to this.

This is called the “keto flu.”

I looked it up; websites said this was “normal.”

It shouldn’t be. 

I have tried every fad diet, workout routine and cleanse. 

Most women don’t even realize it but they have been trained to think that if they aren’t a size 0-6, they are thick or plus-sized and that it’s a bad thing.

Don’t get me wrong; I follow models that promote body positivity, like Iskra Lawrence and Ashley Graham. I’ve followed their stories and I respect what they’re doing for the body positivity movement. 

But on a subconscious level, I still believed in an unrealistic body type.

I wasn’t happy. 

I didn’t think my body was where it “should be.”

I am not underweight or overweight. I am a size 8 with an “average” body type, but I still struggle everyday with my body image and confidence.

When girls at work comment on how fast I eat my sandwich, I don’t care if it’s followed with a “You go girl!”

Don’t do that. You never know how that could affect someone. 

I’ve tried the vegan diet, gone gluten and dairy-free, and fasted intermittently — which literally meant I starved myself for 16 hours in a day. 

I didn’t drink anything but black coffee, tea and water. 

Who the f--k said that was healthy?

Maybe this is healthy for body builders or other athletes, not for a size 8 female college student.

For the longest time, I let myself think these diets were healthy options for my body. I would physically force myself to eat foods I hated, just to fit into a smaller pant size.  

After the intermittent fasting b------t, I realized none of them were going to work for me. 

After a full year of trying to figure out what was wrong with me, I realized there wasn’t anything wrong to begin with. 

I decided I wasn’t going to destroy my body anymore. I was going to treat it how it always should have been treated — with kindness.

I am aware of what I put into my body, whether it is considered healthy or not. I have started to accept that some days that piece of pizza or pint of ice cream will not destroy me.

I do not need to “earn” my food.  

It’s a constant, continuous process but I’m much happier. 

Some days I feel amazing. 

Other days I feel like a potato. 

But that’s normal. Everyone should know that. 

And if anyone picks on you for what you’re eating, that is their issue to sort out, not a reflection of you or your body.  

They don’t get to project their body image issues on to you. 

Love what you eat, work out if you feel like it and stop trying to force yourself to eat kale. 

No one likes kale.

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