So before I get started I have to make sure you all know what you're getting into by reading this piece: I'm weird as can be when it comes to food. My co-worker Luke Hammill – who I have worked with for about three years – will want to tell you that I simply just don't like anything.
But that's the furthest thing from the truth. I like a lot of things – I just like them my way. I guess this is just a fun way to put it all out on the table and see if anyone happens to share in my pickiness.
I don't actually love tomatoes by themselves, but I struggle to eat a sandwich without a few tomatoes on it. I know people that live for this fruit. Heck, my father-in-law and nephew will just pick up a tomato and eat it like an apple. Not for me.
Have you ever been in line at Subway and have a stare down with the guy or girl behind the counter after they dare place four to six green guys on your sub? What are they thinking? There is a perfectly red stack sitting right next to those gnarly, hard slices that will surely be finding my garbage can as soon as I open my sandwich.
Am I the only one that wants his tomatoes to be seasoned a bit before I enjoy them? They should be a bit firm, but they should also be at their reddest and be a delicious addition to the sub.
OK, that sounds weird right? Well, if your ever standing in line at Moe's in the Student Union and you're standing behind me, you better bet you're going to hear me ask the meat person to drain the chicken.
Why, you might ask? Well, if the chicken gets on the burrito with its soggy companion – the residue in the tub – the burrito is ruined. I can't tell you how many times I've ordered a Homewrecker at that particular Moe's, only to have my dinner be the recipient of the wreckage.
While we're on the subject of Moe's, man do I love its fountain drinks. I'm a huge Mountain Dew guy – we'll talk more about that in a minute – and I just can't get enough of their fountain dew. It has to be a perfect combo of syrup and carbonated water, or I'm prepared to switch it up on the spot. I'm definitely a fountain tester. I want the best pop I can get.
So have you ever been a part of a love affair that's lasted for over a decade? One that never loses its intensity or fervor?
I have. And her name is Dew, Mountain Dew.
In the office at The Spectrum, Senior Sports Editor Tyler Cady and I have come up with a categorization system for our favorite fizzy friend, and it all started with the vending machine on the second floor of the Student Union.
One day, Cady grabbed me a Dew in passing and I don't know what the vending guy did to that machine overnight, but it was the most refreshingly cold and crisp beverage I'd ever had on campus.
From that moment on, we dubbed 20 oz. dews out of that particular cooler: krispies (because they're so crisp – we only used ‘k' to differentiate our little nicknamed compadre). The best is when you have an ice-cold can of mountain dew so we named those super krispies. Then we come to the fountain drinks at Moe's and Putnam's, those will be referred to as krispy juniors going forward.
This whole column got really weird, really quick – I know. So let's move on to my final issue of this issue.
I love a good cheeseburger on the go. My wife texted me a special March weight watchers offer the other day to check out, so that may give you a little indication as to how much I like cheeseburgers.
One of the features that I've come to appreciate out of fast food restaurants over the years has been their availability. They're open late every day, and that's just plain convenient.
Here's the problem though. At certain establishments – I won't name any names here, cough, cough: Wendy's on Maple Rd. – the food tends to lose its appeal after about 8 p.m. That makes me crazy.
Nothing's worse than driving up on a place late at night, starving, and biting into a brick of beef that tastes like it's been sitting under a hot lamp for a half hour at least. Is it too much to ask for some fresh meat when I'm paying $10 for a freaking number two?
Oh, and another thing, to the fries guys out there that think it's OK to serve me undercooked potato sticks: Get it together, man. If the fries are still slimy, they need a few more minutes.
These are just a few of my pet peeves when it comes to food. I hope you're not as affected as I am, but if you are, continue the picky pursuit of epic cuisine. We deserve it.