Though I'm a huge sports fan, I've never been into college football. It's just a thing I have; I only like the ones with playoff systems.
Even so, with all the hype surrounding the BCS National Championship Game between No. 1 Auburn and No. 2 Oregon earlier this month, I couldn't help but tune in. Besides being incredulous that what I was watching was supposedly the best two college football teams in America, I remember thinking one main thing:
What a shame it was that I had to watch Auburn quarterback Cameron Newton, who was engulfed in controversy all season after being accused of demanding money in return for playing at Auburn. What a shame that Newton's greediness overshadowed the biggest game of the year, the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl. (Tostitos®, surprisingly simple.)
How unfortunate that I had to witness Auburn's kicker win the game for the covetous Newton, as ESPN's Brent Musberger narrated, "This is for all the Tostitos."
I'm serious – college athletics is all about playing for the love of the game, representing your school, and getting a quality education.
Who needs money when you're guaranteed a degree? Well, guarantee might be a strong word, because many NCAA teams struggle to graduate even half of their players. Still, though, that's half a chance at a free education!
Newton's insatiable urge for money also put yet another damper on the time-honored Heisman Trophy, which was presented by Nissan. (Nissan: SHIFT_the way you move.)
I wonder how Newton can live with himself. He is surrounded by so many people who are only trying to help him become a better player and a better person, and all he can think of is money. Those people must spend a lot of time helping the players; think of how they must feel. Newton's coach, Gene Chizik, made $3.2 million over the course of the season, so you know he must have been working hard.
They don't just give away money for nothing – everyone knows that. But maybe Newton didn't know.
In addition to disrespecting his coaches, athletic department administrators, university officials, stadium workers, ticket scalpers, and anyone else who monetarily benefits from his football prowess, Newton also risked letting down his teammates. Think of it: if the NCAA had disqualified Newton, his teammates wouldn't be playing for the championship.
They'd have to have settled for the Capital One Bowl, the Chick-fil-A Bowl, the Champs Sports Bowl, or the Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl.
Finally, what about the fans who gave Auburn and sportswear companies all that money just to support Newton by wearing his jersey? The lack of respect in our youths these days is appalling.
As Garth Algar once said in Wayne's World, "It's like people only do things because they get paid, and that's just really sad."
Here's the thing, though: I don't blame the NCAA for declaring Newton eligible and allowing him to continue playing after an investigation earlier this season. They had to protect all of those coaches, athletic directors, and others that I was talking about. Those people would have suffered from losing Newton.
You wouldn't want to destroy the righteous with the wicked.
The preceding article was written as a satirical piece.
E-mail: luke.hammill@ubspectrum.com
