We often learn throughout life's experiences that men like sex and women like to cuddle.
Men are up for it anytime, any day and in any situation. They don't care if it's in the middle of the afternoon, 3 a.m. or 11 p.m.
They have needs, and those needs revolve around their P and her V.
Women would rather talk about their feelings, hold hands, and take meaningful glances in the other's direction while watching Twilight.
As if men and women didn't already have their differences.
Not only does she want to watch reruns of Project Runway instead of football games and other painfully boring sports, but she chooses Panera Bread over any other restaurant, limiting his choices for lunch to a hearty low-fat, low-sodium bowl of soup, or a small sandwich - hold the carbs.
If he can, he spends an entire day playing Xbox, and she wants to throw the thing out the window after the fifteenth game of FIFA.
He takes two minutes to get ready, she takes two hours.
Her pseudo-heaven is a sale at Macy's and an ever expanding credit card limit, while he won't go within a five mile radius of the nearest mall and argues that he bought a T-shirt two months ago, so he's good on shopping for a year.
With all these obvious disparities, it's no wonder that relationships take a lot of work, and a lot of compromise.
Now I'm not saying that every relationship is the same. Some women love football and FIFA, and some men probably love shopping and cuddling more than she does.
But, if you're in a serious relationship and sex is on the agenda, things only seem to grow exponentially more complicated.
When he's in the mood, she has a 'headache.' When she wants to have sex after he just drank 10 beers, he wants to roll over and go to sleep.
He wants to simply 'do it,' while she wants to 'make love' and talk about why he loves her, requiring at least 15 thought-out reasons, written down in legible hand writing and surrounded by a heart.
She wants it this way, he wants it that way, he wants the lights on, and she wants the lights off.
She thinks three times a week is enough, and he thinks three times a day doesn't even begin to cover it.
The point is, men and women have enough differences to overcome, and sex shouldn't be one of them.
As this column is based on part my experience, and part my friends' troubles, avoiding generalizations is trivial. So, I speak for everyone when I say this, I think that sex should be a bonding factor in a relationship.
Sex isn't something meant to spur more arguments and cause unneeded tensions. Call me a romantic, but I think it's meant to unite couples on the mutual agreement that yes, sex is great and wonderful, but it's also about the love, and that shouldn't be forgotten.
It seems to me that with sex being such a great activity in general, and representing so much more than just pure physical attraction, that couples should count on sex to be the one thing that they can agree upon together.
Let's forget the diversity between men and women and the tensions it can cause, and just remember to stop arguing about the sex, because there's already enough material to cover that confrontational part of the relationship.
In the end, sex is the thing couples can constantly have similar opinions on, and despite their differences, sex will always be a positive, connecting aspect in a relationship.
Just enjoy it.
E-mail: adrian.finch@ubspectrum.com
