???We all know fiction means fake. Fictional movies, books and songs aren't real.
???So why do we use them as models for our lives?
???Take Romeo and Juliet, for example. It's widely considered to be the greatest love story of all time. But what, exactly, is romantic about it? They see each other across a room, get married the next day, sleep together once, and later kill themselves.
??? I guarantee that if this happened to one of your friends, you wouldn't think it was romantic; you'd think it was the craziest thing you've ever heard.
???The thing is, love at first sight doesn't exist. It's pure lust. To love someone, you have to know the person, and it's impossible to know someone intimately just by glancing at him or her from across a room.
???Romeo and Juliet don't fall in love at first sight. They fall in lust. They never once have a real conversation; all of their comments to each other mostly revolve around how beautiful the other one is. When he sees Juliet for the first time, Romeo says something to the effect of, "Wow, that girl is a lot prettier than the one I was in love with when I got here." This is the greatest love story of all time? I don't think so.
???I think a lot of so-called "love at first sight" is hindsight. People are attracted to someone, date for a few months, fall in love, and then claim they knew it all along. Sure, physical attraction is a big part of any relationship, but it can't be the only thing, or the relationship will never work out. Somewhere along the way, those people fell in love with each other's personalities.
???True love doesn't happen the way works of fiction show it. It isn't like Twilight, Made of Honor or a Jane Austen story. A lot of those characters don't even mirror real people. You will be very hard-pressed to find a guy who acts like anyone in a Jane Austen novel. You could argue that this is because of the progression of time and the death of chivalry and all that jazz, but even guys like McDreamy are few and far between, if they even exist at all. There's nothing wrong with admiring fictional characters, but some people take it too far and think that if their significant other doesn't act like their favorite character does, it's not real love.
???Understand, I'm not anti-romance here. I believe that every relationship needs at least a little romance; some people like more than others, and that's fine. But novels, films and even songs portray love and romance in a way that's so over the top, most people's real relationships can't compete.
???Eventually, people move past that stage where they have to be around each other every second of every day; if anything, sometimes they're glad for the chance to spend a day apart. It's more about trusting the other person and knowing that he or she will always be there for you. Sending flowers every day can get old quickly, and if that's the only way you have of showing someone that you love them, then you're in trouble. Don't take fiction too seriously - you'll ruin real life if you do.
