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Sex fails


During your lifetime, you will fail at sex at least once.

Whether the experience could be blamed on alcohol, nerves or just plain lack of skills, sometimes sex doesn't go your way. If right now, you're thinking, "wrong, wrong, wrong, this has never happened to me." You're either lying to yourself, you have a really bad self-perception of your sexual prowess or you've just plain never had sex.

There are a ton of reasons why sex sometimes just doesn't work out in your favor; here are three specific examples.

The minute man

When I was a kid, I would sing along to Missy Elliot's "One Minute Man" without having a clue about what the words actually meant. I definitely know what she's talking about now.

This is the scenario:

You and your guy are getting ready to have sex. You rush into the bedroom, you start ripping off each other's clothes and you grab the proper protection. Then, in a shorter amount of time than it took to actually prepare to have sex, your man makes that "uh oh" face and climaxes to the finish line - without you.

Especially when it's the first time having sex with someone, it's reasonable to be a little nervous. Fumbling around is expected. So is awkward hand placement. Unfortunately, having your guy finish in less than a minute is not expected and it is not pleasant.

However annoyed or disappointed you might be if your guy is a minute man, remember sometimes these things happen. Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction for males, according to virtualmedicalcentre.com. Sometimes it's because of alcohol and sometimes it's caused by lack of sex over a long period of time.

The most detrimental part of a situation like this is how a girl reacts.

If it's a guy who - even with the failed sex experience - you want to see again, there are some things you should never do.

Do not ever laugh out loud. Do not ever say, "really?" out loud, even though you might be thinking it in your head. The guy is probably completely emasculated already. If it's your boyfriend or someone you're seeing, it's best not to pour salt on the gaping wound. Instead of making a big deal out of it, have your man finish you off in other ways.

Remember that just because it happens once, it doesn't mean it will happen every time.

On the other hand, if you don't care about the kid at all, proceed however you wish. If you want to kick him out of your house because he wasted your time, that's up to you.

The no-riser

There's the saying, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

When it comes to sex, I'm not sure which is worse - to have sex for less than three minutes or to not have a guy rise at all. Especially when alcohol is involved, sometimes guys just can't get it up.

When a guy can't get it up, it's a depressing experience. For a girl, all you can think is that it's your fault or that you're not attractive or sexy enough. For a guy, it completely destroys his manhood.

No matter who you are in the scenario, it's an awkward situation that requires tact. Don't be too mean and try to be as understanding as you can - this stuff happens. On the other hand, don't be too sympathetic because the last thing a guy wants is pity. Just try to move on and salvage the hook up as best you can.

You can still do other things, even if sex is off the table.

The unbearable kisser

No matter what part of the body he or she is kissing, sometimes you and your partner just can't sync up make-out styles. Maybe it's because they use too much tongue or they bite so hard they leave cuts on your lips. Or it could be that your man just can't seem to understand the importance of clitoral stimulation or your girl can't seem to grasp that good blowjobs require more than an open mouth.

Either way, a bad kisser can ruin a perfectly good hook up.

Stabbing your tongue down your partner's throat is not sexy.

Biting like you're a vampire is not stimulating.

If you don't tell your partner his or her kissing style is bothering you, then you will just get annoyed and fed up and you will not enjoy the rest of the hook up. So as nicely as you can, discuss the problems and try to fix them.

Or if you don't think talking about it will help, you need to take the lead and control what your partner does. For example, if you don't like their tongue work, then work on the neck and make sure you don't open your mouth for them to choke you.

Best of luck on your future sex endeavors and if you find yourself in one of these situations, it might suck at the moment, but it will be a great story later.

Email: features@ubspectrum.com



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