Published: Thursday, September 27, 2012
Updated: Monday, November 5, 2012 20:11
So maybe this is your first time. Maybe you’ve never done it before. You’ve always wanted to try it but had no one to do it with. You’ve tried doing it yourself, but then finally a couple of your friends invited you to do it with them. They’ve been doing it for years, and you’re afraid you won’t be able to keep up with them, because they just have so much more experience.
One option is to try doing it with total strangers first to improve your abilities.
But I’m telling you from experience: it’s better to have your first time be with someone you know.
So lucky for you there is a set of unwritten rules and tips about how to act, so your friends won’t laugh at you.
Here is some proper etiquette for fantasy football … wait, what did you think I was talking about?
Knowing some etiquette rules
There are four things a man is allowed to cry over. His fantasy team underperforming is one of them.
You know the old show Whose Line is it Anyway? when Drew Carey would come on and say some cheesy line about how the show is made up and the scoring system didn’t matter: “That’s right, the points are just like the nutrition facts on a Happy Meal.” This attitude has no place in fantasy football because as a true fantasy owner, whether you do your physics lab that week depends on your fantasy team’s performance.
If Spiller gets hurt in the first half, and you lose by five? Not going to class. You lose on the last play of the Seahawks game? Not even hungry for Moe’s, and you may just be coming down with the flu.
There are also 12 different reasons for streaking across South Campus. Winning on Russell Wilson’s game-ending Hail Mary is at the top of the list.
OK, so here’s some real advice. In fact, here is the truest fact I know: Your bench wins fantasy championships.
I know you think you drafted an all-star lineup, but if you truly believe you will win Week 15 with that very same lineup, then you’re probably “that kid” every league has who never changes his lineup … ever.
Each week you should be checking your RB2, WR2 and flex spot if your league has one. Check the matchups of your bench players. This is why you have a bench. If someone has a favorable matchup, go for it. One way to do this is by checking the projected rankings of the league’s defenses for the upcoming week.
This is why each week I give you a few players to consider. These are flex players who are good options to swap in and out of your lineup.
Here are my confidence ratings for week four:
Greg Little (WR/CLE) – [Confidence Rating: 2/13]
I know a lot of people still holding onto Little. That’s fine with me, as he may still be worth keeping around. But he is a definite no-go for this week.
He is going up against the Baltimore defense. I know Ray Lewis is 37 and was drafted into the NFL the same year theMacarena was a hit on the radio, but that doesn’t mean he can’t pack a punch.And sure, Ed Reed may be pushing 35, but he still makes interceptions like his job … Oh, wait. It is.
Mikel LeShoure (RB/DET) – [Confidence Rating: 10/13]
I know this guy is owned in a lot of leagues after last week, but many people have been asking me if he’s still a good play for this week or if he was a one-time deal. Going against Minnesota, a bottom-five defense this year, I’m pretty confident in this guy. So unless you are stacked at the running back position he is a great RB2 or flex play.
Jason Witten (TE/DAL) – [Confidence Rating 7/13]
I feel your pain, Witten owners. I have this guy in three different leagues, and his output has been less than stellar. So I’m assuming you may have picked up another TE by now, or Witten may have even fallen to free agency in your league.
Nevertheless, I have a good feeling about this week. His injury has had time to heal, and he and Romo are looking to get back on the same page. He’s a bit overdue for a touchdown, so Romo will be looking his way. If you don’t have one of the elite tight ends, take a risk on Witten this week.
Disclaimer: I have been a Cowboys fan my whole life.
Eliminator/Survival Football Pick (for those of you who play) – Houston over Tennessee