The Day I Met the Internet

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 21:36

Tattoos are personal, trying to argue that is rediculous. If its not your thing, its not your thing. Whats said to do instead of getting tattooed, is equally arguable to fitting into a trend...doing things for yourself is personnal! What you decide to do is on you, saying/implying it shows no class, is an insult. Nice of you to try and apologize

Emily Stallings

Fri Feb 3 2012 20:14

I hope you genuinely mean everything you've written in this column, and I feel very sorry that you were so personally attacked because no one deserves that. (Although many people felt attacked by your article, attacking back is extremely counterproductive and hypocritical.) Yes, I think your words were taken out of context, and that you probably didn't intend to sound harsh or judgmental. God, I remember being 19. I was SO shy and felt so out of place, yet I felt so in charge of my life and certain of myself. It's been nearly 10 years since then, and let me tell you, those 10 years were the most emotional growing I have done in my life. I look basically the same, but inside I am so different. I suspect you have the same kind of growing to go through. I don't mean that in a mean way, but that I think you are still naïve and unaware of the kind of impact you have. And that's okay! You're 19! I hope that you've learned something from this experience, and, don't worry, it'll die down in about a week after the Internet finds something else to be pissed about. I hope that I'm right in taking your apology as genuine. Don't give up writing, and don't give up your opinions, just, maybe, be a little more mindful of how you say things.

A woman, and tattooer of women

Fri Feb 3 2012 19:53

Your apology doesn't say you regret what you did, it says you regret having the women you were writing about see it. As a tattooed woman, and tattooer of women, (this article was also passed around in a female tattooist facebook group I follow) I won't berate you with the shameful stance of your first article any more than necessary. I'm sure you've already heard all about that. But saying your article wasn't sexist is hugely insulting. There are many female artists out there (and male artists too) who work very hard to do quality work and stand up for the truth that tattooing is not any more or less acceptable for women than it is for men. Women aren't an exception to tattooing because their bodies aren't especially meant for others to enjoy any more than men's are. A huge amount of this backlash is because degradation of any type of woman (like a third of women in your age group who have tattoos) sets us all back. You don't sound sorry for setting womenkind back, you sound sorry for getting caught and getting yelled at for it.

MsSpider

Fri Feb 3 2012 18:26

The original column that you wrote was just as filled with judgment as the responses you received. You state that your remarks were taken out of context, however, I read the entire article and found nothing but uninformed ideas about women who are tattooed. Your piece was an opinion, which is fine However, if you post something like that and it hits a public forum, you will most definitely receive other people's opinions in return. If you plan on being a journalist, you will need to develop a thicker skin because people will always disagree with you. If you plan on casting judgment about people's lifestyles, people will judge you in return. That being said, your original article is coming from a place of ignorance and supercilious "morality" and not from any sort of actual knowledge. You discussed nothing about the downsides of tattoos other than not fitting YOUR mold of conventional attractiveness. Because of this, I feel you ended up receiving some well-earned vitriol from the masses whom you have decided to pigeonhole as having some sort of morality issue because they choose to express themselves in a way that is different than what you choose for yourself.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 18:22

"And I - a reserved, thoughtful college student - became faceless."

How exactly were you "faceless" in this scenario? Your picture and name are plastered at the top of the article for all to see. You're acting like such a victim, when you're the one who victimized the masses with your horrible writing and sexist ideas. And I don't think anyone who is truly thoughtful would write such a narrow minded, hateful piece of trash. The fact that it was in response to another article has nothing to do with your article being awful and upsetting.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 17:57

Ok. Here it is without a novel.

Attacking your looks, your family, things that don't have to do with the article? That's childish nonsense. Ride a train, Drive a major road, go to a grocery store in any city in America... People are childish idiots.

Now as far your article.... Your uninformed 19 year old opinion was laughable. I myself read the article and sent it around because i thought it would be good for a laugh. I didn't send hate mail...

Also this is a half-assed apology where you play the victim card for paragraph after paragraph.
Journalism isn't for everyone. If you open your mouth in a public forum you had better be sure about what you are saying.

Your apology read about like this:

I'm sad people are mean on the internet....but I'm still uninformed and small minded. It's tough to be me.

Journalism just may not be for you......

M. Russell

Fri Feb 3 2012 16:44

I appreciate that Ms. Khoury did not expect such an overwhelming response, and I do not feel she deserved the level of vitriol she got, even if I was one of the people writing her a stern email. People should have been kinder, more understanding, since she is young and has a lot to learn about the world. Clearly she has already learned an important lesson this week. Still, this apology leaves something to be desired; her article did demonstrate sexist, body-shaming themes and her tone was judgmental. I don't think that's taking anything "out of context". I do hope that this has taught her to grow as a person and as a journalist and that she will do better in the future. Best of luck to you, Ms. Khoury.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 16:28

This apology is as ignorant and half hearted as the original article. I can't believe that as a journalist she would present only her half of anything she writes. Half truths are just as good as lies as most people know. Ontop of everything she is 19, her oppinion hs the same undertone of someone twice her age who grew up in a different society where the values she's presenting are commonplace.

I however still think this is a back handed apology and a half hearted attempt at saving face....pathetic.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 15:32

She apologizes for being taken out of context and having an opinion, not because her argument was fallacious, self-pious, and sexist. Her apology rings hollow because she's not really apologizing, just whining about how poorly she was treated by the internet mobs. I agree, attacks on her appearance, gender, etc are off topic and do not add to the argument while threats to her are beyond inexcusable. Attacks on her ability to write a cogent argument (even as a fledgling writer) are valid.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 15:26

You're a 19 year old and you wore the same jeans for 17 years? You were a HUGE 2 year old.

Learn how to proofread.

nicole

Fri Feb 3 2012 13:30

there is very little i can add to the thoughtful reactions and responses you've received here, other than my support of their statements. your piece should never have been published as it stood, whether it was a response to another piece or not. as it is is written, it sounds judgemental and sexist, buying into the contrived "ideal" woman image and suggesting that explaining to one's grandchildren what your tattoos really mean is evidence of no morals or values... you are young, and hopefully this experience has taught you something of value not just for your writing, but for your life and how you conduct yourself, particularly with individuals so clearly of a different "culture" than yourself.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 12:37

Lisa, it's too bad you are dealing with a subculture that apparently is too hypersensitive to tolerate any disagreement with tattooing. People may disagree on any fashion trend or personal statement, whether it be sporting a mullet or a mohawk, a deep tan or black lipstick, ripped jeans or multiple piercings, business attire or high-waisted pants. In the end, why isn't it enough to just shrug and say, "Sorry you don't like it, but that's me"? The name-calling and personal attacks due to a difference in opinion are unwarranted and immoral. Lisa, you didn't deserve any of that.

To the extent that people are critical of the substance of the opinion itself, the reasoning or the writing, that is a different matter. Kudos to everyone who can express disagreement and keep it civil.

Jess Mastri

Fri Feb 3 2012 11:22

I read your article because it was posted on a friend's site. I pointed out to all in that thread that your article was a co-op piece with Bratek's article and you were obviously each supposed to represent a side of a debate. That being said, I read them both and your articles were poorly constructed debate pieces. This is a valuable, but painful lesson to learn as a young writer. I'm sorry you were attacked personally, but I think you must take some the thoughtful responses into consideration and give careful thought to what you are writing in the future. I don't think there's anything worse in journalism than writing to convey a message and missing your point entirely. I believe you were an easy target because you didn't see how outrageously sexist and close-minded your article sounded, even if that isn't how you meant to sound. No one knows what you mean to say unless you clearly say it.
Let's be clear: it seems the backlash wasn't about tattoos (it wasn't for me.) It was about the ugly portrait you painted of what a woman is and should strive to be. It doesn't matter if your view is different- the view your words conveyed is what people were so offended by. That's your greatest responsibility as a journalist: make your point clear. Whether it's an opinion piece or a news piece.
Your rebuttal sounded like a pity-party to me. You don't need to explain your personal life and try to get these people to like you or feel bad about calling you names. Ignore the stupid hate mail and focus on the lessons- it can only help you grow as a writer, right? Write the piece you meant to write the first time, and you won't have to follow-up trying to explain what you really meant in another article. I still don't even think you understand why your words were offensive...

Corvo

Fri Feb 3 2012 11:01

Sorry, not hiding. forgot to enter it in my post below.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 11:00

As I have stated in previous comments, I believe you are entitled to your opinion of people with tattoos, that's not and never has been my issue. My issue was your argument for your point. I don't care what you are against, tattoos, piercings, what kind of car people drive, what people eat for lunch, etc, those are your opinions, and you are entitled to them.
BUT, your statements on buying clothes at the mall, going to the gym, and getting your haircut as the correct alternative prove that the American media is doing it's job properly by making young women feel that the way they look on the outside is the only thing that is important. That's great that you lost weight, the amount of overweight and obese people in America is another huge problem. However, did you do it to be healthy? Or did you do it so you could fit into designer clothes and fit in with other girls?
After all that, you dare question the morality of people with tattoos. Again, I point out it's not about the tattoos. I am saying it because it's the point you used.
I understand now how young you really are and that you don't have a lot of experience out in the real world yet, but I hope that SOME of the reactions you got open your eyes to a certain mindset that can be very damaging if taken beyond the confined walls of college. It is shallow minded to the person that holds the view, and it can be extremely damaging to those not strong enough with who they are to see how shallow it is. My case in point, pre teen and teenage girls (and boys) who are struggling with their identity.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 09:06

I echo what everyone else said. Honey, it's impossible for literally thousands of people to "take it the wrong way." It if was one or two people who got irked, then sure -- I can see there might have been a misunderstanding. But you yourself said that an ENTIRE subculture of people were wildly offended. That means the problem isn't them and how they interpreted your words -- the problem is you and what you wrote.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 08:48

I actually found your tattoo post distasteful in the sense that it really offered no points of discussion (in my opinion). Taken out of context or not, I would argue that it may have not been written well as a persuasive piece. However, you learning a valuable lesson is priceless. I would only add, don't become gun-shy and pull any punches because of this experience. What you have to say is valuable. Just make sure you say it in a way that gets your point across. People are going to disagree with you but that just is what it is. Good job being open enough and perceptive enough to learn the lesson here.

Muvesz

Fri Feb 3 2012 08:29

No one should have attacked you like they did, but I read your article three or four times trying to figure out if I had missed something, and I still find it offensive, degrading, and sexist. If you had brought up the points you made in this article in your previous one, I think it would have made things a lot better. I'm glad you learned something from all of this.

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 05:31

Welcome to the Internet!

Anonymous

Fri Feb 3 2012 04:59

Oh, by the way, this was not 100% your fault. The Spectrum staff should never have let you publish it as it stood. They should have pointed out your mistakes and recommended that you rewrite it.